This has been in the talking stages for quite some time but now it will be a reality.

Bet you didn’t see this coming…

I will be a guest DJ on my friend Wendy “The Metal Mistress” Chandler’s show on Saturday March 13th from 8-11pm! I have not done a live in-studio radio show in quite some time so this will be a lot of fun. She has asked me to hand-pick songs to fill the three hours, along with little chats here and there. Listeners can send requests too, but for the most part, the list is all mine!! And what will I be playing? You’ll have to tune in but rest assured, it’s going to be one hell of a playlist!! You will be pointing at the speakers like “I haven’t heard THIS in a long time!”

Those who live near the Vernon, NJ area can tune in to 107.9 FM but everyone else can use the power of the internet with this link: https://www.vernonfm.org/

So mark your calendars for a rare Steve Bello sighting 😉

How many times have you been compared to someone? “Why can’t you be more like your cousin?” or “How come you’re not like your friend up the block?” Did you lose count every time someone had a suggestion under the guise of a back-handed compliment?

You’re not alone.

Far too many times, those who are in the creative field tend to get bombarded with inanities and passive-aggressive attitudes. Why is this? It’s because some people are jealous of you. They want to be you. They know they can’t so they twist the knife and make you feel like you are doing things wrong. They can’t stand the fact that you could actually be correct or that you have a precise goal/vision in mind. As I always say, “Most people can’t find their ass with two hands and a GPS.”

What brought on this Saturday morning epiphany? I’ll tell you…

Fighting the winter blues forces me to re-evaluate my life and surroundings. I have always been constantly surrounded by negativity and resentment. And to be fair, I was the same way. I can be a dark, cynical person but am trying to turn that around. I can’t force it. Others bask in the glory of being oppressive and cutting. These are the same people who will tell you “You need therapy” because they don’t want to be scrutinized themselves. When you’re happy, they hate it. When you are reaching your goals, they find ways to undermine you. There’s a few people in my life who are double-agents, and live to be the undercurrent. I must be a decent human being because that drives them crazy.

Am I perfect? Nope. Never will be. Will I ever be truly happy? No. Anyone who is always “on” is hiding something. Eventually the armour tarnishes. The veneer cracks and you will see people for who they really are.

TM Stevens once told me years ago: “You are cut from a different cloth…and then they discontinued the fabric!” This is me, warts and all. You like me? Fine, you can stay. You don’t like me? Your loss. And if you only like me for personal gain, you’re barking up the wrong tree.

And for the record, don’t tell me what I “should be doing”. You don’t like something? Write your own damn songs.

They won’t be as good as mine.

The new album is on hold until I feel like starting up again. I made this decision a while back because I wasn’t happy with anything. It’s my own fault really. I always get excited about things like this, and plaster my thoughts all over social media. And more often than not, it blows up in my face.

I need to show more admirable restraint.

While going over the initial batch of songs, I found myself feeling fatigued. Not in a good way either. In the past, I would have that “runner’s high” after playing my songs, that feeling of being more excited leaving a rehearsal than going in. Now I noticed that that warm fuzzy feeling wasn’t there.

Uh-oh.

I made a big mistake way back in 2005 when I was working on the album JUPITER RETURN. Things were not moving well yet I forced it along because I felt I had something to prove. The vibes were not right, egos were running rampant, and yet I pushed the album along and pissed everyone off in the process. I promised myself that that would never happen again.

Since then, every album I’ve made was an absolute joy, even if there was more grunt work than needed. This time around, I was not feeling it. The one rehearsal back in October was very good but the universe had other ideas, mainly “This music isn’t ready yet, you prick!”

So I pulled the plug on everything. I ruffled some feathers in the process but it’s my name going on the album. I have the right to change my mind, re-tool things, even discard stuff to the compost pile.

I am chipping away at the songs here and there, not obsessing over them as I normally would. I’m not on a time table, no deadlines, nobody hanging over my head. I used to tell myself “This has to be done! My ego depends on it!” But now, I am more relaxed about it. I am in no rush to get to work on the album.

I have been speaking with other musicians who feel their energy and drive fading a bit because of the lock downs and such. Tony Iommi said it best in a Facebook video that “We musicians are taking a beating!” and he’s right. While he was talking about not touring and hearing the sound of applause, I also interpreted it as “We can only do so many Instagram videos and Facebook Live clips.”

Back to the songs…

One question that was gnawing at me while going over them a while back was “What am I trying to say?” I was writing this really heavy, angry-type music and thought “THIS is going to be insane!” But I was sometimes known for writing fun guitar music, even if something was borderline Pantera-level. Part of my feeling worn out in a bad way was that for the first time ever, I felt like my music was a chore. Yes I said that out loud. And if I thought that, then others would think that too. I’m not about to dumb down who I am, but I am being more conscious about “Does this make sense?” and “Am I truly happy with this before I release it?” Deep down inside, I had to admit to myself that this music wasn’t working. So while a couple of songs are staying, others are being stripped down and re-worked. Again, don’t expect me to run into the studio soon to do anything. I am simply not ready. My heart is not there. It will come back, but unlike 2005, I will not force things.

BTW: I posted that pic of all my Ibanez guitars because you all like pretty colours. And Ibanez rules!!

Well here we are, feeling cabin fever, which begs the question…

How many more days til Spring?

I hate winter. Always did, since I was a kid. Would always feel sad and bummed, unlike my friends who thrived on snowball fights, sledding and writing their name in the snow with, well, use your imagination. Often times I would be told “Suck it up” when that’s the last thing someone who is depressed wants to hear. If saying that to someone makes themselves feel comfortable, then I guess their job is done.

A few years ago, I came across an article about something called Seasonal Affective Disorder. I ran down the check list and thought “That’s it! That’s what I have, or I think I have.” Chat with some friends about it and they suffer from it too. It is possible to feel this in the summer but more often than not, it’s a winter thing. I have been taking plenty of Vitamin D, and just trying to keep my brain occupied with good things. Not always easy when you’re invisible to many people.

I am putting my music away for a while. My heart is simply not there. I still love teaching, and that seems to be where my heart belongs. Having students tell me “This was fun” and “You’re cooler than most of the teachers in my school” is very validating. But the most important thing is that my students are learning and asking great questions (my brain hurts but it’s worth it). I wanted pats on the back for my music. I don’t ask for them when I teach. That’s not the job of a teacher. If a student feels enriched and says so unsolicited, then great.

Do I have “just” winter blues? Maybe. But depression is real, people. And while I recall a former friend telling me “You cannot write about this stuff online! Everything has to be positive!”, I beg to differ. Too much pressure is applied to feel like “I am the greatest” and it comes across as shallow and parochial. If this blog inspires someone to take a stand, then great. If this blog makes me lose a fan/friend, then oh well.

OH WELL!!!!

Virtual NAMM was last week. It was what it wasn’t. But as most faux optimists would say “It’s better than nothing, right?”

Well, no.

Still it was cool of Ibanez to send me a virtual badge/link. I popped in on some things here and there, but it wasn’t right. Sitting at my dining room table, perusing new gear, when I should be playing it in person while dealing with noises all around me…that’s how you experience NAMM! But as it stands, I got to watch an interview with Ibanez artist Lara Basilio as she debuted her new signature guitar. Wish I could see it in person, but I can tell it’s a stunning guitar. Oh and yes she plays really well too (check out her song “Sunny Days”)! Also caught my friend, another Ibanez artist (see a theme here?) Rob Balducci play a short set in his studio. He played new tunes as well as older cuts, and his tone is just amazing! Great lyrical player. I capped off the week with seeing Larry Mitchell play a SMOKING set via “Virtual Marriot Lobby”.

And no, I chose not to perform. But I might get to play in the GHS booth if NAMM 2022 happens. I chat with my rep Jon and he said it’s a good possibility. I had seen my friends Melia and Scott Gailor play great sets last year in that booth, so I figured I could make a blithering fool of myself, yes?

Ah the plight of being a musician…

So now all of us musician-type people have to wait a whole year for the next show. There’s talk that it will happen in 2022. Seeing everyone post photos from last year (myself included) only brought out the sentimental feelings even more. I always said NAMM is basically Toys R Us for grown-ups who never grew up. Not being there forced us to reminisce harder than ever. I can guarantee that when the next show happens, there will be a HUGE turnout.

Which means I better play well in the GHS booth.

Last year around this time, I was sitting in Newark Airport at 5am. Dead tired but excited for my first trip to Anaheim since 2014. Arrived at LAX 3:30pm, greeted to warmer weather, sunnier skies, and the chance to be a pretend guitar god for four days at NAMM.

Now all of us musicians sit home going over photos from Janaury 2020. What a difference a year makes. When it was announced back in July that Winter NAMM 2021 was off the table, you could hear the sound of hearts breaking all over the world. “Maybe things will change” was the mantra but was not meant to be. Instead, we look at pictures of ourselves on social media, hoping for NAMM 2022 to happen.

So we have virtual NAMM. Yeah, no. I think we are all pretty sick and tired of Zoom/Skype/Google chat. Human interaction is crucial. Staring at a computer screen is not the same as being in person, no matter how many times we hear the cliche of “We’re all in this together.” We all looked forward to shaking hands, bumping elbows, hugging, sitting in a Denny’s, staring at palm trees. We all couldn’t wait to get our hands on new gear.

Now we wait to see if next year happens.

Here we are, the first full week into 2021 and well, what can I say that hasn’t already been said? No reason for me to opine or wax poetic when others do it so eloquently (albeit with drama) on social media.

So what does a long-haired guitarist do?

He remasters a song from 2004 because the title is fitting for these times.

I wrote and recorded this song called “Tired Wings” for the 2004 cd ALL WIRED UP. I have many fond memories of recording that album, the vibes were right, the energy was great, and recording was a joy. I wanted to do another acoustic tune on this as I did on my first cd TWISTED METAL. That stems from listening to albums by Led Zeppelin, Yes, and Triumph, where there would be an acoustic interlude to break up the hard rock and heavy metal. So while I’m not Page, Howe, and Emmett, I liked to challenge myself and hence, “Tired Wings” was the result.

Recorded this piece on an Ibanez PC300 acoustic and tuned the low E down to low A. The chord changes aren’t anything complex yet it sounds like I am doing stuff that would make you think I had pretzel fingers by the end of it. I actually performed this live here and there, such as Ibanez clinics and when I would play solo acoustic sets at A&M Music in Lyndhurst, NJ. Fancy that, I can actually mellow out.

Sometimes.

I took the original recording, added chorus, delay and slow phaser to give it more atmosphere. And while the producer at the time Mike Koenig (who sadly passed away in 2011) wanted me to re-do this without the cross-talk/string squeaks, I said that it sounds more human. He agreed and it stayed. The delay enhances the string noise, think it adds more depth. Or maybe I’m just a quirky dude.

With what’s going on in the world lately, I hope this almost 2-minute piece touches and connects with some of you. I chose this cover (seen above) because, well, it fits! I am not posting the song on here just yet as I want you to check it out on Spotify, iTunes, etc. when it’s released. And for the low low price of 99 cents, it can be part of your library.

Enjoy!

Back to normal, that is?

Yeah, 2020 certainly gave everyone a beating. While we are all hoping for 2021 to be a tremendous improvement, it will take its sweet time to return to form. It may not be the life we once had, but it will be something.

True to my Scorpio nature, I’ve been obsessing over my songs, working on melodies, trying to capture the right vibe for each tune. I tend to work on my ideas the best in the basement as my son is on his desktop playing Dungeons & Dragons with friends. Sometimes I prefer to be alone but once in a while, I like an audience of one. He doesn’t seem to mind (and if he does, he’s keeping it quiet!) And yes, the cat will make a cameo and demand ear rubs while I am concocting strange note choices.

I have noticed a huge leap in my own playing in the past year. Between teaching and writing (and jamming over songs on the radio like I’m 14 again), my guitar style has progressed. I’ve seen my picking style shift too. Not sure how this is happening but I am getting out of the way. No sense fighting upstream. If the way I pick is supposed to change, then so be it. I think that lends itself to why the melodies seem more angular. But as I always say, a song without a good melody is meaningless. Granted, I love playing super-fast lines but that’s icing on the already-sugary cake. Not everyone can hum 64th notes (maybe Shawn Lane could?) but if someone can sing back a melody I created, then I did my job. Believe me, the lines I’m writing are definitely quirky. I am even adding effects to give them a bit more texture and character.

And if the planets line up, my trio will get to look at each other in rehearsals soon. We were hoping to start recording in February but that won’t happen. If we get cranking in April and have the cd out by June/July, fine with me. Aside from the music, I am scheming the new album cover and liner notes too. You’d think at my age, I would be blase about recording and whatnot but that’s the farthest from the truth. The hair on my arms stand at attention when I listen back to what I’ve written, especially with such a rhythm section in Scott (bass) and Vincent (drums). I still get ebullient doing the album cover and typing up the song list, complete with how long each song is. (Strange obsession, I know!) Getting my hands dirty with all of this still fires me up. My passion for performing is gone (unless Living Colour asks me to be direct support for a show), but the heart for being creative is still beating.

BTW: Enjoy the pics I took today from a pond near my house. We had a light dusting of snow and it looked really cool on the trees and the water.

I can’t always be a guitar god, right?

I am not one to rush things. But like the rest of the world, I have never been so thrilled to see 2020 go bye-bye. It wasn’t all bad for me personally, was better for some, worse for others. Lots of people started up their own businesses and realized that being their own boss was the way to go. Others, well, they chose to be more negative and paranoid.

Suddenly I feel more normal.

2020 started off on a great note with my first trip to NAMM (Anaheim, CA) since 2014 (January). Got to rub elbows with some famous friends, and some non-famous ones. People are people, and if someone is cool to me, I am cool right back. Felt like a guitar god for four days, perusing the booths of my endorsers (Ibanez, GHS Strings, Orange amps, Lock-It Straps) and absorbing some nice weather. It was “freezing” to the locals but was perfect for me.

Most important was I finally got to meet my long-time pen pal (remember those?) Her name is Nicole and we stared at each other in disbelief for a few seconds like “Is this really happening?” She suggested a certain restaurant and I said “Nah, I want IHOP!” Was great chatting the night away, instantly forgetting the long flight and feeling worn out from my credit card being declined at the motel (I got it fixed, don’t worry!)

After four days of endless walking around the convention center, seeing Steve Vai at the House Of Blues (what a show!) and loving the palm trees near the motel, I came home to frigid temperatures but a renewed sense of purpose. I wanted to get to work on my 8th album!

Ummm, then some pandemic happened…

I lost all of my students for about a month. Some slowly came back, then a few more, and then got new students on top of it. Apparently, being stuck at home makes one bored. And makes one want to learn a piece of wood with strings. Works for me!

I know the summer sucked for a lot of my friends, especially musicians who were aching to get back on stage. Got to see some bands around September when bars were allowed back open to limited/outdoor seating. I joke that people are so starved for live shows, that I may actually draw a crowd. And since seating is limited, every show I could do would be an instant sell-out!

Alas, my days of being a performer are gone. It’s for the best.

But I am finally working towards a new album. Had one rehearsal in October and it went really well. Supposed to rehearse in early December but health issues arose so we moved it to two weeks later. Then something called snow happened. Great. Looks like January we will get back to work.

Unless those murder hornets show up like they said they would. They held out for more money, I think.

So was 2020 a total dud? For me, not totally. What do I hope for in 2021? One thing’s for certain: the idea of going back to normal won’t happen for a long time, maybe never again. Ideals and old habits are going to be thrown to the wolves. New strategies will have to happen, whether by choice or by force. Winter NAMM 2021 is cancelled (boo!) but am hoping for Summer NAMM in Nashville at least.

We all hope 2021 will be an improvement, that’s for sure.

And we can’t forget those we lost this year. It was a doozy like 2016: Neil Peart (I will never get over this one!!), Sean Reinert, Eddie Van Halen, Sean Malone, Leslie West, Frankie Banali, Alex Trebek, Little Richard, and a slew of others. May they all rest in peace.

But to those who are still alive, do me and yourself a favour: Show them appreciation while they are still here. It only takes a few seconds.

Peace, love, and granola…

Anyone who knows me (whether they admit to it or not) knows that I dabble in photography. But I am not a true photographer in that regard. I was always a point-and-shoot person, nothing fancy. Yet people who peruse my outdoor photos on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram all seem to say the same things: “You have a great eye for detail” (which is true) and “You have a new career if the music stops” (already plotting my early demise?)

I have friends who are way better photographers than myself. Again, it’s a hobby that I enjoy because it’s still something creative and relaxing (unlike the music world, which is all about stress and has little regard for creativity). I’ve been taking photos for quite some time, have had various cameras over the years. Always a learning curve and I enjoy it. It’s just me and nature, hand in hand. Some photos come out quite amazing, others are so-so. Am sure even the best photographers like Ross Halfin and Neil Zlozower took some duds in the early stages. But this is their career; for me it’s a break from obsessing over too many notes per square inch.

And many have seen musicians take amazing photos which leads me to believe that when you’re creative, you find inspiration in virtually anything. I was first hip to Wolf Hoffman’s work in the 90s. At first I was like “The guitarist from Accept takes pictures?!” Then it made sense. I think he did a book about Les Paul some years ago. Other musicians who do amazing work are Living Colour’s Vernon Reid, and Rush’s Geddy Lee. Different subject matters but the vibes are the same. Musicians like to tell stories with their songs and instruments, so maybe pictures are another window with which the fans can peer through and really get to know the person behind the music. Musicians are insular/isolated creatures and we let our work do the talking.

For anyone who wishes to see my works, you can check out these links:

facebook.com/steviehimself twitter.com/steviehimself instagram.com/stevebellomusic

Keep in mind, you will see photos of my cat Linus interspersed with outdoor works. Again, I am not a true photographer per se. It’s for fun. But to see really great pieces, check out Geddy Lee’s page and Vernon Reid’s as well.

I also have to mention my friend Gail, whom I went to high school with. She has been carving a nice niche with her pictures, and is making her services available so check her out at Gail Andreu Photography

Okay time to obsess over my songs again…