One of the saddest songs I ever wrote? You be the judge.
I sat on this particular piece of music for about a year, waiting for the right sounds to come to me. I had the guitar part already, just needed that extra something. After some time had passed, the rest of it came to me.
I present to you the final single of 2024 entitled “Always The Last To Know”. Head over to the MUSIC page on here, or go to my Bandcamp or Soundcloud to hear it.
The title stems from…well, you can interpret it however you wish.
As for the song itself: is this one of the saddest pieces of music I ever wrote?
Thought I didn’t have the files for these albums but surprise surprise! Thank goodness for Dropbox, which I had forgotten about (oops!)
Since I had no plans today, why not play these songs that I’d not heard nor performed in years, and remind myself of how overly ambitious I was back then. My playing improved since then, but wow I sounded like Slopmaster General on some tracks. And I thought I was good? Sheesh.
Hey, sometimes the enthusiasm outshines the talent.
Both of these were an interesting trip down memory lane. GO BERZERK! was recorded at Bennett Studios (RIP) with a trio; LAYERS OF TIME was basically me being like Prince and doing everything except one keyboard part at the producer’s home studio. Either way, the music got to the public.
GO BERZERK! was the first cd to sell really fast. This was when Facebook was still heating up, as well as MySpace really on fire. So the idea of an artist or band pushing new music was a big deal and people ate it up. Now, forget it. Anyway, I remember going through three boxes of cds with this one. Even got to play Starland Ballroom for the first time opening for Uli Roth and Leslie West. Life seemed good!
LAYERS was a bitch to get off the ground for reasons I won’t get into. But the producer at the time said “Do it yourself, you wrote the songs!” So he helped me get EZ Drummer and off I went, programming drum parts, copying/pasting, sitting on the laptop feeling like THIS WILL NEVER END! I played all the guitars and bass, and he did one keyboard part of the title track. And with this cd, I got to do some big gigs, opening for Joe Lynn Turner, Lita Ford and King’s X. Not bad.
But the album didn’t sell as fast as its predecessor. By this time, MySpace was dead, and Facebook was making it tough for musicians to promote unless they were willing to pay for ads. Both albums saw nice articles written about me in The South Bergenite, a newspaper from my old hometown. So that’s always a plus.
At the time, having large gaps in between albums made me feel like I was lazy. Not so. For most acts, the first two or three albums are spit out rather quickly, like there’s not enough hours in a day to record. I was hoping to subscribe to the Motorhead/Black Flag ethos of “If you ain’t doing an album a year, you ain’t workin’.” I unintentionally fell into the Boston/Def Leppard camp with having wide spaces in between releases. Not what I planned but whatever.
Remastering these albums was a lot of fun. The ONLY change I made was to the song “Surfing To Venus” from GO. I sped the original track up 10% to match the speed of how I’d do it live (much like “Quicker Than The Devil”). Aside from that, everything else is original. Added some reverb, delay, whatever to breathe new life into these tracks. These are NOT remixes at all.
Hearing these songs definitely brought me back to that aforementioned place of being ambitious and undaunted. Not every song is a winner, but I am proud of what’s written. (“Chomp” is the only song not written by me, BTW. That credit goes to the bassist Joe DeMott.) I can look back and think one thing…
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY AMBITION?!
Both of these are on my Bandcamp page and will soon be on various streaming sits via Distrokid. I am going to completely re-do the WHAT’S IN STORE page, as I have been directing people to Bandcamp. I have no hard copies of anything anyway, so why bother?
I hope you enjoy the remasters, as much as I enjoyed tweaking things.
When I took that selfie a few days ago, my joke was “The sun hit my hair just right.” Then I took a good long look at it, and noticed something.
Is this what inner peace feels like?
I can’t say for sure but my face doesn’t show any desperation anymore, nor any signs of fatigue. I actually have color in my face from sleeping better. The yellow glasses help too.
Ever since November 10’s gig in NYC, I have felt this change wash over me. Was I leveling up? Was I finally accepting things as they are? Who knows. Some have noticed that I’m not the same guy, and even I noticed too. Do I still crack bad jokes? Yes. Do I still dress funny? Yes. But this feeling of liberation has taken over. How so?
For years, like most aspiring musicians, we pine to be welcomed in a certain circle or clique. Do we look the part? Talk the talk? Have the right gear? For me, the answer is none of the above, which severely limits my chances of being accepted. And I fought for it for way too long. I’d go to shows, whether it was a local band or a big concert, and think “Where’s my tribe? Where’s my place in life?” And if you don’t fit, you’re in trouble. People love to try and change you to make you fit…in THEIR world. It’s a war of attrition. Wear you down until you learn their language, change your attire, whatever needs to be done.
Integrity is key.
I have a lot of it, which tends to throw people off-axis. Which is why I heard things like “You’ll never be accepted around here because you’re not an asshole like the rest of us” and “You never made it in music because you’re not a coked-out arrogant 80s leftover.” Oh and I don’t have rich parents or a well-connected relative in the business, so forget it.
For decades, I wanted to be “the guitar player” and it never happened. Not the way I envisioned. Seeing people fawning over guys like Eddie Van Halen, Steve Vai, Yngwie Malmsteen, etc…I thought “That can be me, right?” Oh Lord no! I never had the ‘it’ factor. I have the talent. But that doesn’t mean anything. At all. Yet I thought “I can be a mover and a shaker, right?” Nope. You can be Joe Satriani’s brother, and without the right support behind you, you are invisible to the world.
Which is how I’ve felt forever.
But after that gig at The Cutting Room, I got home and thought “I can walk away now. I did it all.” Well, almost all. I will never get to open for Rush like I dreamed but I finally did a gig with Living Colour! Did I expect this change to come over me? No. I figured I would go back to grinding away, maybe work on new music, and try to get people to listen to me.
And that’s the hardest part of being a musician. Being heard.
I got tired of it. It didn’t feel right to me anymore. Why stress and fret over something that is supposed to bring me happiness? I love playing the guitar, more than ever. I am more relaxed, not worried about impressing anyone anymore. I don’t have to hear snide comments or “ball-busting” because I don’t cater to anyone’s lusty whims. Musicians by and large are fragile and petulant, no matter their age or skill level. We all want to be recognized. There’s no harm in that. But when I would be excluded from things, or worse, included but made to feel like “Why are YOU here?”, it was time to slam on the brakes.
I no longer see myself as a guitarist or professional musician. If a cover band needs my help, THEN I am a guitar player but it’s not as big a deal as I wanted it to be. But when I am either sitting in my basement, I am a human being. Or when I’m giving lessons, I am a guitar teacher. I wear that like a badge. It will take a while to leave my “identity” behind (and no I’m not cutting my hair) but as of now, it feels good to just be in the moment, and not worry about “Does anyone like my music or guitar work?”
Is this what inner peace feels like?
I guess so…
**I had to add this before it went live. Picked up one of my guitars at home for the first time since the last gig with Rock Hard. Jammed to some Yes, and was instantly transported back to when I was learning Steve Howe licks as a teenager. THIS is why I play guitar…for the enjoyment.
I am typing this on Thanksgiving night. I must have written, re-written, and threw out this blog a few times this week, looking for the right words to print. Today felt like the right day to do it.
So why is there a picture of Prince at the top? Read on…
Last night I got to hear a remastered version of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” from the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame show. You know, the one with Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne, Dhani Harrison and the like, all to be overshadowed and upstaged by one of Prince’s best solos ever. He stealthily came in, dropped jaws, threw his guitar in the air (where did it go?) and left without a word.
Legend!
I’ve been a Prince fan since the mid-80s. I was your typical snot-nosed metalhead who hated anything that wasn’t a power chord or had gobs of distortion. But after hearing Prince rip it up on “Let’s Go Crazy” and then some live footage on MTV from a 1984 concert, I borrowed my aunt’s copy of PURPLE RAIN and hadn’t looked back.
And I got to see Prince live in 2004 at the now-defunct Arena (thanks, Gov. Christie!) and while I felt the show was lackluster, Prince killed on guitar. But not just electric. He did an acoustic solo set and I couldn’t keep my eyes in their sockets.
So what’s the point of this blog?
Prince was simply an amazing, kick-ass guitarist. Period. He wasn’t innovative like Hendrix, wasn’t super-flashy like EVH or Vai, but when he played, OH IT SOUNDED AMAZING!! When you can get Jeff Beck and Eric Clapton to sing your praises, and George Benson and Steve Vai to give you guitars…you are definitely hot shit.
And that leads to…me.
You read that right.
I’m simply a kick-ass guitarist. That’s it. I was never original, unique, innovative. I plug in, find the right sounds, get the job done, and go home. Am I amazing? Depends on the time of day and who you talk to. I wanted to be original and all that but let’s be honest: it was never in me. I write good songs, play damn good guitar, and have the balls to play stupid shit on stage while sharing a bill with metal bands. When I help cover bands out, I bring my A-game, and if I feel like I’m losing steam, I muster up whatever energy is left and leave it on the stage.
I always wanted people to walk away thinking “WTF did I just see?” No, I don’t jump around and make O-faces like Eddie. I don’t have the cool moves of Vai or Satriani. So who am I, really?
This may not be a big deal to some of you, but to me it is. When you’re a quirky guitar player, you tend to be marginalized. I was never the best, not the most original player (but certainly not the most derivative either). All I ever did was simply kick ass, bring my A-game, and that’s that. Having the confidence to play strange notes in places where others would play it safe is a curse and a blessing.
But bands wanted me this year!
When bands such as Supernova, Evolution, and Rock Hard want me around, I heed the call. My own music went flat, and it was a sign to just apply the brakes. I know when to call it quits. Will I ever go back to my own music? That’s hard to say. Not like people are clamoring to hear anything new from me (or anything at all), so my gut instinct is to walk away.
I played more gigs this year than in the last few years combined. Again, you might be thinking “So what?” Lots of bands gig constantly, and I tip my imaginary hat to them. Somehow this year, I did four shows with Evolution in the summer, five with Supernova between October and November, and now this gig with Rock Hard last night.
Oh and there was this gig in NYC with Living Colour…that’s the highest peak I could hit. So after that, there’s nothing for me to accomplish. I can relax now. Am I getting complacent? Maybe. I certainly don’t feel this pressing need to impress anyone anymore, and it’s very liberating. Even the gig with Rock Hard, I played my best, the band sounded great, we all get along well. The crowd dug it, we received nice compliments. Got a lot of free soda too.
Driving home last night at 1:30am, it hit me that I can go into hibernation now. I’m grateful for the bands who asked me to pitch in. They never had to stress with me, never worry about “Is Bello going to show up? Is he going to play the songs the right way?” Again, the biggest ace up my sleeve is that I throw down, end of story. Not everyone likes the way I play guitar, and after Vernon Reid’s praise, I simply don’t care anymore. But not one person can deny that when I perform, they see results. Period. I’m not gifted or was ever a prodigy. I worked hard at my craft. Period. I’ve become the professional musician who stopped caring about being a professional musician. I enjoy playing the guitar more than ever.
I don’t even know how to begin this blog. My mind is racing 200mph, but the rest of my body is still sleeping. But like the pro I am (or was), I’ll just type away…
Ready?
After a month of helping out the cover band Supernova, I was asked to do one more gig on November 9. Of course I obliged but also knew that I had this other gig on November 10 (more on that later). Played a place called Mason Street Grilled in Lake Hopatcong and it was in an…interesting spot. I thought I was lost, even with GPS, but this place is tucked below at the bottom of a hill. I guess whatever pays the bills. Nice enough stage, great crowd, had a blast but both the singer Mike and I shared a new bond: losing our voices! Well, fortunately I can’t sing but Mike can and he did his best. We had friends come up to help with lead vocals so he could catch his breath.
I am grateful for the gigs that Supernova offered. They said very nice things about me on stage last weekend, and it was awesome. Their guitarist Frank is all healed up now from shoulder surgery so he will return to his rightful spot.
Now about November 10…
After five months of prepping, planning, lobbying emails and phone calls, trying to make lemonade out of lemons…the day finally arrived. But before I get into that, let me say that we had rehearsal the day before at a studio in Fort Lee. Yes, I had to rehearse the one song with Michael Barnes (guitar), TC Tolliver (drums), Reese (vocals) and JD DeServio (bass) and THEN do the Supernova gig later. I think I lost a few pounds and brain cells. But anyway…the rehearsal was a LOT of fun, lots of heavy hitters in the same room such as the people I mentioned, along with Divinity Roxx, Jen Majura, PM Eaton, and the like. Did I belong? Yes and no. This was about TM Stevens, not me or anyone else. I’ll tell you what though: all of us were feeling TM’s presence. Even JD said “TM was on my shoulder” and knowing how TM was, he would have approved of JD’s amazing playing.
Now onto the show itself.
Arrived at 3 for load-in, watched people file in, lots of pleasantries exchanged. Saw more friends I’d not seen in a while, met friends who were only circles on Facebook for the first time, made new friends throughout the night. Stanley Jordan opened the night and as usual, his playing was drop-dead unreal. He is his own band. Period.
The moment has come…
Mike, JD, TC, Reese and myself took to the stage to throw down a TM song called “I’m A Believer” and if there were asses still in their seats, we failed (TM’s advice still lingers on!) Everyone stood up, no question. The five of us crushed it, killed it, you name it. For only having one rehearsal, you’d never notice. All of us brought our A-game and then some. The energy was off the charts. I look over to see Living Colour watching me…oh shit! Thankfully, after the song, they all greeted me with “You killed it” and “That was sick!” Even Vernon Reid took a pic while I was playing, and I didn’t see it until the end of the night. While this night was not about me or anyone else except TM, I have to admit that the validation from one of my all-time fave bands was the period at the end of the sentence for me. ALL the musicians who performed were amazing, no joke! Everyone brought the funk, the grooves, the love…whatever they could. It was a magical night and all of us were wrung out in a good way once the show was over.
As I sit here and type this, one thought enters my mind…
I don’t have to prove anything to anyone anymore. I did almost everything that I set out to do as a musician. I kinda-sorta finally opened for Living Colour, and receiving their nice praises made me settle down in the green room and think “I have nowhere else to go now.” I can live with that. I’m content with helping cover bands, I’m back to being a local musician who enjoys playing and not worrying about impressing people or stressing over ticket sales. My life path is as a music teacher, and that’s my bubble, has been for many years. Only now I realize that’s where I belonged all along.
So thank you to Mike Barnes, Jan Greiner, Carrie Beehan, and all the musicians for making this night a tremendous success. TM was definitely floating around the cosmos, making sure we were groovin’ and hitting the right notes (and if we didn’t, SO WHAT!)
If it wasn’t for TM, I wouldn’t have been there last night.
BTW: When Vernon Reid told me that I “killed it”, I told myself “You can stop trying so hard now, Bello. Your work here is done.”
I am typing this blog today (October 28) and it will be seen on my birthday (November 2). I will be the speed limit, the big ol’ 55. Proud of that.
Oh and you will see this at 8:42 a.m., the time I was born.
My November calendar is already filling up and this is a great way to celebrate another year around the sun. I thought my tenure with Supernova was done on Oct 26 but their guitarist Frank still needs more time to heal from his shoulder surgery. He will be back starting in December, so I have been asked to do the gig on November 9 at Mason Street Grille in Lake Hopatcong, NJ. I will be looking forward to doing this show, and of course they know they can always ask me to jump in if needed for the future.
But I have a gig on November 10!
And now I find out there’s rehearsal for the TM benefit show…on November 9!
I spoke with guitarist/music director Michael Barnes today. He and I have known each other since the mid-80s when we would pal around in our friend Art’s car, listening to thrash, punk and hardcore. He played with TM Stevens for many years and then I played in the band for two years. I remember seeing TM play at Stone Pony in 2003 and he announced “Michael ‘Master Blaster’ Barnes” on guitar. This couldn’t be the same dude! It was!!
Now that Michael is running the show, and I’ve been asked to play, he gave me the guidelines. Some I cannot say here out of privacy and respect, but I am playing one song with him, Tc Tolliver on drums, and I can’t say who the bassist is at this time. But trust me, he seriously kicks ass!!! Rehearsal is November 9 but Mike reassured me that I will get to leave early enough to make it to this gig with Supernova.
And of course, I have a gig with Rock Hard on November 16.
When it rains…wow.
I will be a busy bee this month but this is how it will be turning 55.
What did Sammy Hagar say about that number?
**BTW: You can vote for me through this link: ISSA as I have been nominated for Instrumental Artist of the Month. Even though I’ve been quite dormant with my music, still nice to receive even the tiniest bit of accolades. One vote per day until the end of the month!
Four shows in one month might not mean a huge deal to some of you. But with the amount of driving I did, the number of times I filled my gas tank, and how many chicken fingers I ate at each venue (well, I had mozzarella sticks at Mrs. Riley’s)…it’s a big deal to me.
But is it over?
Hmmm…I can’t say at this time. I was only filling in on guitar with Supernova this month due to their guitarist Frank’s shoulder surgery. They know if they need me for future gigs, I will be available. We’re hoping Frank will heal soon so he can reclaim his rightful spot.
Friday night was the gig at Lentini Farms in Newton, NJ. Wide open spaces, gorgeous view of the sunset, and a new stage was built as well. Plowed through the usual raft of songs but added “Running Down A Dream” by Tom Petty, “Paranoid” by Black Sabbath, “Crazy Train” by Ozzy, and “Hush” by Deep Purple. (BTW: Playing Jon Lord keyboard licks on guitar is not easy!!) The weather got chilly so my fingers started to freeze up a bit. Thankfully, there was a heater on stage, so I got crouch down and warm up in between songs. I’m such a diva.
Oh I finally covered Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song”. Was that on your bingo card?
Best part was seeing a high school friend show up; hadn’t seen each other in 30-something years. Always a nice surprise! Oh and she kept asking for Billy Squier…couldn’t ask for Slayer like everyone else, huh? 😉
Last night was a Halloween show at Patrick’s Pub in Hopatcong. Decent crowd, people floating in and out, wearing various costumes. Top ones were a girl dressed as SpongeBob in wizard garb, and her friend as Handsome Squidward (YouTube it!) Again, pretty much the same songs, threw in “Sex On Fire” by Kings Of Leon at the last minute. No Slayer requests…again.
Aside from the TM benefit show on November 10 in NYC, and Rock Hard at Adam’s Beer Garden on Nov 16, I have nothing else happening.
Back on March 23, 2015, I recorded a single entitled “Quicker Than The Devil”. It was the first and so far only song to hit #1, albeit on the UK Metal charts on a now-defunct station. Still, it was a nice milestone.
However, one thing plagued me for years.
THIS VERSION IS TOO DAMN SLOW!
When this song was performed live, it was faster and I kept thinking “This is how it’s supposed to sound and feel!” Last night I was listening to DJ Metal Mistress’ show and she played this. I had enough and took the file for a ride.
First of all, it is NOT remastered. I tried that and it sounded worse, if you can believe it. I left the overall sonics alone aside from adding delay and a bit of top end in the EQ. Otherwise, it’s the same.
Second, I sped the track up 10% to how it would be performed on stage. Now it sits where I like it. The pitch is the same, still in the original key. Everything is a bit faster now. You can even A/B the original to this version on my MUSIC page for proof.
It took almost ten years to finally get this song where I wanted it. I could have easily re-recorded it but felt it was best to leave well enough alone. I hope you enjoy the “Quicker Than The Devil (A Little Quicker!)” now 🙂
OFFICIAL WEBSITE FOR 7-STRING GUITARIST STEVE BELLO 
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