No matter who you are, where you live, what you do…we all want the approval of others to feel justified and qualified in this world.

NO exceptions!

Social media has definitely brought out all the showboating and self-aggrandizing personalities that we’d otherwise know nothing about. Am I guilty of this? Absolutely. Whether you’re a musician, sports figure, actor, or someone in the political field, we all want “eyes on us”.

I’m honestly getting tired of seeking approval. I know my worth because it bothers others. And yet I’m the one hoping someone likes me?! GTFO! I am the one who shines bright, yet people try to dim it so they can feel better? And I take it?! WTF? No more lowering myself (not that I ever truly did that) so I can feel sanctioned. You don’t like me? That’s your problem.

I will say though, that my students truly enjoy my presence. They WANT to learn and have fun. I have yet to find another musician who feels that way. Will never happen. Too many are trapped in their own perceived image and I shatter it. This is why musicians get all weird around me. I must be more confident than I realize because others get all flustered. I’m not Steve Vai, but around here, it feels that way at times. (Now if I only had Vai’s fingers come through the fretboard!!)

But back to my students…when I hear things like “This is the highlight of my day” and “I could not wait to ask you to teach me this song…”, those words are music to my ears for sure. My students know that whether I teach them in the store, or in their own homes, they are safe with me. They can talk to me without fear of judgement or prejudice. My talents are being put to a much better use as a teacher.

However, I still love to perform and create. I have not been asked to do a gig since January 3, and if that well ran dry, then so be it. Had a bunch of demos for a prospective 10th album, and shelved those for an indefinite period of time. When the muse taps me on the shoulder, as I always say, then I will make my move. I’ve changed quite a bit since November 10 (you know what happened), and my need for approval has become fading. Not 100%, mind you. It is nice when someone says “I really liked that one song” or “That solo you did was sick”. But now I receive unsolicited praise and compliments, whereas in the not-too-distant past, I craved it. It’s a very liberating feeling to know that I no longer chase after someone’s verbal handshake.

Yet there’s always one who says “You know what you should do? What I would do is…”

I will tell you what you should do…but this is a family-friendly website 😉

Expect the unexpected. You never know what’s around the corner.

And other cliches.

Here’s a surprise for you and me: my tune “Always The Last To Know” is up for Male Single Of The Year through the ISSA. Did I expect this? No. I submitted singles back on January 1, and at least one made it through. So I am cool with that. Here’s the link to vote: ISSA Voting You can vote once a day until April 30th.

It’s also nice to see that this website is gaining a fair bit of attention. Guess sprucing things up (and saying that I was going to remove it) worked. When the renewal date arrives, I may downgrade so I can save a few bucks. I might lose some privileges in the process but oh well.

Now get voting!

What do I do when I’m slightly bored?

I update the logo on my website.

And I’m still outdated in everything else!

Many years ago, somewhere around early 2005 to be precise, I had a discussion/disagreement with a drummer when he said “You need a logo.” I said it works for others but not necessary for what I do. He kept harping on “You need to market better! You need something like what Kiss and Led Zeppelin have.” As I said, logos work for them. Same with brands like Coca-Cola, Facebook, etc.

I do instrumental music for Pete’s sake!!!

Joe Satriani had a different logo with every album. So did Steve Vai, Motley Crue, Rush, Prince, and Deep Purple. And I don’t think anyone complained about that (maybe the drummer I had in my band 20 years ago did). I always say it as every time I did a new album, a new font was needed to reflect things. I get it that it’s all about branding/marketing/whatever.

I simply don’t care.

And yes I’ve been told plenty of times that “You suck at networking” and they’re right. I suck at marketing too but somehow I can promote quite well. For me, it’s always been about the music. I mean, look at the front cover of Bon Jovi’s SLIPPERY WHEN WET. He had to change it so he ran his finger over a wet Hefty bag. Millions sold.

Logos be damned.

We all struggle with various aspects of our lives. One that definitely seems to be the most talked-about is fitting in. We all want to feel validated/admired/appreciated but at what expense?

When you’re unique, it’s sometimes not welcomed.

We’re living in an age where generations are clashing left and right. We’ve often said “We won’t talk like our parents do/did” and yet here we are! We try to be open-minded about things but ultimately it just doesn’t happen. How often do we catch ourselves saying “Back in my day” or “Today’s music sucks”.

Guilty as charged.

I guess we can’t help ourselves. So where does that leave us? Are we destined to be islands unto ourselves? Or do we wear the right clothes, say the right catch phrases, and listen to music we can’t stand just to be accepted? For some, the desperation is palpable.

I wanted to fit somewhere all of my life. I never fit at home or school as a kid. Figured “If I got really good on guitar, people would flock to me.” Nope. And heaven forbid I use words longer than four letters! I can curse with the best of them but ultimately it sounds cheap and trite. (Get me pissed off, and it’s over HAHA) With the exception of where I teach, I never fit at any job. Was always reprimanded for something trivial. Again, when you’re different, people can’t handle it. They say “I love a challenge” but the challenge for them is to change you.

As I said in the previous blog, I am proud to be quirky/eccentric/weird/strange. I am fully aware of that. I think quite a few people were shoehorned by society early on in life, and only know one way to exist. They don’t know how to live, they only know how to stay inside the lines. Don’t make any sudden moves, and you’ll get along just fine.

Thankfully, I have come across some people who feel the same way I do. We talk about “where do we belong?” and the answer is simple: We’re meant to shine, not blend. I’ve been told that I have balls to pull off wearing funky sneakers, colorful flannel shirts, do instrumental music, and now I have fuzzy straps for Pete’s sake!! Guess I’m more confident than I give myself credit for. So to those who find it hard to fit in…STOP TRYING! You have a tribe, and it may be small but accepting. Everyone else are too busy keeping up with the Joneses.

Now go get yourself a V-Tar fuzzy strap!!!