In chatting with a friend over in Seattle, she said that heavy metal (to her) is all about freedom and getting all these emotions out. I agree with her but I had to add this…

Most heavy metal musicians are conservative and bound to rules.

Am sure I will get grief for that but it is true. You can’t deny that. Granted, outside of classical and jazz, you won’t find virtuoso playing anywhere else but heavy metal music. Perhaps that’s a far stretch but while there are amazing country guitarists that can give rock guys a run for their money…my friend was correct in saying that metal players definitely convey a lot of emotion.

So what’s the point of this blog? And why the title?

I’ve always run into resistance even when playing in other bands way before I had this so-called instrumental career back in 2003. I would play something quirky and hear “Can you not do that?” and I would think “But it works!” Most musicians think either diatonically, pentatonic, or…gasp…very commercially. Even when they want to write heavy “brootal” music, there’s still something sing-songy about it. Nothing wrong with that but why are they allowed to take chances, albeit minimal, but me?

One drummer I worked with years ago insisted that I write more djent-type music. Would say “People want to hear Animals As Leaders” and proceed to send me YouTube clips of other djent bands. Yes it’s a stupid genre name but you can’t deny the musicianship is amazing. But…where are the songs?! If this was 1973, it would be akin to what jazz/fusion bands coughed up but like anything else, it came and went. Some people only chase trends and fads. I chase tones and sounds. I write music that works for me.

Then I get those who scratch their head like “I don’t get it, man. Can you be more like Van Halen?” So people want me to be either modern or retro. Tell you what I’m gonna do…I’M GONNA BE BOTH! HA! I am a throwback to the 80s, no question, but I don’t live there. I dig modern metal but to be my age and write music like what’s on Liquid Metal…I would look really silly. I think it was the guitarist in Job For A Cowboy who said you won’t see 40-year-olds playing mathcore metal.

Are they in their 40s now? Get back to me on that.

So while my friend said heavy metal is about freedom, there are a LOT of rules and parameters. It’s like classical music, where it’s unflagging and very stoic. Jazz on the other hand is more free-form, which explains why some people can’t dig it. The djent bands were experimenting with jazz-like phrasing and chord work; you would never hear that on a Slayer or Judas Priest record (maybe bands like Watchtower, Cynic or Atheist). Yet I had no desire to be djent. I wanted to be heavy metal but even when I write something that sounds traditional, there’s still an element of weirdness to it.

I can’t win for losing!

So whatever I do, it will sound like me. It’s my fingerprints all over the place. You and I can play the same C and G chords but it’s our approaches that differ. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Yet I was made to feel like I was doing things wrong for years. No more! Perhaps nobody will ever truly get what I do. I’ll give it another 10 years and then light bulbs will click.

By then I will be doing something even weirder 😉

Opened my email and saw a message from Spotify. I had to double-check the calendar. It’s MAY 1st, not APRIL 1st, right? The universe isn’t pulling a prank on me, is it?

500 followers? Seriously?

I don’t even know how long I’ve had a Spotify account. But to hit 500 followers (and am sure some are bots) is a milestone for someone like me. How so? Well, I’m glad you asked! What I do musically is not for everyone, it’s considered a niche thing. Yeah yeah yeah blah blah blah. But even so, provided 90% of the followers are human, this is pretty big. I have to see when I started my account and do the math.

I’ve always been a late bloomer, so to speak. Nothing I ever did was a hit out of the park or met with immediate success. I’m definitely slept on around these parts. Maybe that’s my ego talking but others have said the same thing to me over the years. So seeing “you’ve hit 500 followers” is pretty damn cool.

All told, the past couple of years have been very slow for me musically. I lost the heart and the ambition for a while, and it’s slowly coming back…creeping along, if you will. I had to accept that there’s virtually no interest in my music. Was there ever? Unless I shoved it in peoples’ faces, they weren’t going to ask nor care about anything I did.

Cold hard facts, my friends.

That doesn’t mean I’ve been sleeping 😉

I will explain the two photos a bit later but for now, I have some news for you.

I’m doing a live interview on May 7.

Yes you read that right. I was asked by my friend Wendy a/k/a DJ Metal Mistress to come up to her studio and do a Q&A on her show Wednesday, May 7 from 7-10pm for CraniumRadio. Last time I was up there, it was to promote the TM Stevens benefit show last November.

I have no clue what to talk about now because there’s nothing to promote.

Still, we always have a great time when we get together. Anything goes on the air, and the best part is that it’s live. No edits, re-takes, nothing. Just two people cracking each other up, and maybe talk about something serious for a brief bit. Of course I will handpick select songs from bands I love, as well as my own tunes from past albums. So whatever we feel like talking about, there you go. Totally off-the-cuff.

Now about the two pics above…

I don’t consider myself a real photographer. Definitely more of a hobbyist “point-and-shoot” type. I think I have a good eye for it but there’s people way better than me at it. I do it because it’s a nice change of pace from playing/teaching/writing music. People who follow me on my socials know that I enjoy doing nature walks and taking lots of pics. Whether it’s leaves, deer, sunrises/sunsets or goofy stuff that people leave on their curbs, I try to capture particular moments in life.

A few days ago I was coming downstairs to the basement, and saw the sunlight hit the headstock of one of the guitars. It looked SO awesome and I had to take a pic of it. I blurred the background (don’t think you want to see boxes) and the cool thing was, the V-Tar straps stayed intact. That was definitely cool.

Why the pic of me? Why not? I looked good in the natural sunlight 🙂

Last night I received an unexpected surprise: a review of an album I did almost four years ago.

Four years?!

Mark Huettmann reviews many cds, mostly instrumental works, and is an avid fan of shred guitar. I’ve seen his reviews and he’s always very direct, blunt, never condescending, but if he likes or dislikes something, you know it. And as I was breezing through my Facebook newsfeed, I stumbled upon the review above.

He is definitely spot-on with what he said about MOOD SWINGS. I don’t think you need me to reiterate what he said, as it’s posted above. But I will chime in with my own observations about the music I’ve done over the past 20 years…

For me, the song comes first. Always. Yes I love to shred but while I don’t do “a wall of 32nd notes” as Mark said (I proved that I can with the Apathy session), if you’re not tapping your foot or banging your head, then I didn’t do my job right. Lots of shred guitarists cannot write a song. There, I said it. There are players who smoke me, no question, but I write catchy melodies and strong grooves. And when someone says “I wish you had a singer”, then they sing my melodies back to me, that’s all the proof that I need. I’ve been doing it right all along.

No compromise.

Ever.

Back in 2003 when I started doing my own music for real, and not just homemade demos, I thought back to something a drummer said to me years ago. “It HAS to groove, man!” And for me, the groove is essential. I’ve done speed metal-ish stuff like “Walk Through Lightning” which was a lot of fun, but if I do that mile-wide headbang with a song like “Neurotic Bliss” or “Marblehead”, then I’ve got something cookin’.

My songwriting influences are apparent but never a rip-off. Even when I did the first cd TWISTED METAL, I leaned on such artists as Joe Satriani (obviously), Living Colour, and if you can believe it, PiL’s ALBUM and Robert Palmer’s RIPTIDE. How’s that for diverse? And with the second cd ALL WIRED UP, I turned up the heaviness because of Meshuggah, Bleeding Through, Pantera, and the like. But the grooves or any melodies were never forsaken. And as many people would deny that I write cool material, they couldn’t help but crack a smile and nod their heads in approval.

So Mark’s review hit the nail on the head.

Almost like he knows me…

(Cue Twilight Zone music…)

No matter who you are, where you live, what you do…we all want the approval of others to feel justified and qualified in this world.

NO exceptions!

Social media has definitely brought out all the showboating and self-aggrandizing personalities that we’d otherwise know nothing about. Am I guilty of this? Absolutely. Whether you’re a musician, sports figure, actor, or someone in the political field, we all want “eyes on us”.

I’m honestly getting tired of seeking approval. I know my worth because it bothers others. And yet I’m the one hoping someone likes me?! GTFO! I am the one who shines bright, yet people try to dim it so they can feel better? And I take it?! WTF? No more lowering myself (not that I ever truly did that) so I can feel sanctioned. You don’t like me? That’s your problem.

I will say though, that my students truly enjoy my presence. They WANT to learn and have fun. I have yet to find another musician who feels that way. Will never happen. Too many are trapped in their own perceived image and I shatter it. This is why musicians get all weird around me. I must be more confident than I realize because others get all flustered. I’m not Steve Vai, but around here, it feels that way at times. (Now if I only had Vai’s fingers come through the fretboard!!)

But back to my students…when I hear things like “This is the highlight of my day” and “I could not wait to ask you to teach me this song…”, those words are music to my ears for sure. My students know that whether I teach them in the store, or in their own homes, they are safe with me. They can talk to me without fear of judgement or prejudice. My talents are being put to a much better use as a teacher.

However, I still love to perform and create. I have not been asked to do a gig since January 3, and if that well ran dry, then so be it. Had a bunch of demos for a prospective 10th album, and shelved those for an indefinite period of time. When the muse taps me on the shoulder, as I always say, then I will make my move. I’ve changed quite a bit since November 10 (you know what happened), and my need for approval has become fading. Not 100%, mind you. It is nice when someone says “I really liked that one song” or “That solo you did was sick”. But now I receive unsolicited praise and compliments, whereas in the not-too-distant past, I craved it. It’s a very liberating feeling to know that I no longer chase after someone’s verbal handshake.

Yet there’s always one who says “You know what you should do? What I would do is…”

I will tell you what you should do…but this is a family-friendly website 😉

Expect the unexpected. You never know what’s around the corner.

And other cliches.

Here’s a surprise for you and me: my tune “Always The Last To Know” is up for Male Single Of The Year through the ISSA. Did I expect this? No. I submitted singles back on January 1, and at least one made it through. So I am cool with that. Here’s the link to vote: ISSA Voting You can vote once a day until April 30th.

It’s also nice to see that this website is gaining a fair bit of attention. Guess sprucing things up (and saying that I was going to remove it) worked. When the renewal date arrives, I may downgrade so I can save a few bucks. I might lose some privileges in the process but oh well.

Now get voting!