The title of this blog definitely makes its point, doesn’t it? As we have always heard, “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.”

I asked and the universe listened.

After the Blame It On The Girl gig last weekend, I blurted out (in my car) “I’d like another gig before August!” And well, the universe or some musical god happened to be in a good mood and helped me out…

Enter my friend Bob Lamb, all-purpose bassist who can fill in with any band in seconds flat. I am not kidding. He knows a ton of songs, so he will always be first pick to sub. We’ve known each other for many years, since the MySpace days (!) He and I played together two years ago in Tammy & The Others. This time we’re teaming up again with the band CRASH!

Bob wrote me on Monday with “Aidan (Hand; singer) needs a guitarist for a July 11 gig in Nanuet. Can you do it?” I said “Yes for sure, are you on bass?” and he said YEP! The drummer is Ed Gunderman. We lobbied set lists back and forth, and since we’re only playing one 90-minute set, it will be most likely 30-34 songs.

And the gig is 20 minutes from my house 🙂

The gig is at Nanuet Town Centre, a mall in New York. This is part of the Summer Concert Series starting July 11 to August 15; a different band every Friday. I am excited because it will be outdoors, hopefully a nice-sized stage with a rockin’ PA system. The song choices haven’t been finalized but am sure they will include the tried-and-true ones that virtually every cover band does. Which is fine with me as I know a majority of the tunes. If I have to learn a few new ones, so be it!

There’s no “Free Bird”, sorry.

I’d seen CRASH! before at Rhodes Tavern when my friends James Bruno (Rock Hard) filled in on drums and Tony Buono (Supernova) on bass. Think at that show, they covered Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Tom Petty, Lit, Jimmy Eat World, and the like. So I know what to expect with this gig.

Take it from me…the more you manifest, the better your chances of getting nice things.

I like nice things.

If you’re gonna book a rock band…don’t expect Peter Paul & Mary, okay?

When you’re competing with a very live-sounding room as well as glass and other variables, the sound will bounce all around. This is physics 101. Blame It On The Girl was supposed to play outside but it was considered “too hot” so things were moved inside but not totally. Yes the bay door was open, there was a nice breeze flowing, but seeing people cover their ears and then being told “You’re too piercingly loud, cut it in half” is not the most inspiring thing to hear.

I simply will never understand what people want when seeing and hearing loud rock music. Granted, some acts are purposely too loud, going for Manowar-like levels which is silly. Ah well…onto the good stuff.

This was my first sub gig with BIOTG and it was a lot of fun. Parking sucked though! I forgot how difficult it was to find a spot in Jersey City, especially the Heights. I was lucky to find a space half a block away. Got my exercise! Once inside, we set up shop, and started going through the songs. Yes I loused some things but in the past I would have thrown a fit. Now I laugh it off. I simply stopped caring what people think of me, at least musically. I held my own, played the songs as best as possible, and nobody in the band complained. So I did something right.

I tell you what, “Jolene” is a BITCH to play but once I got it going, it was fine. Definitely one of the hardest songs I ever learned, next to “Sultans Of Swing”. I am not kidding. And…gulp…I had to use a capo for the very first time ever live. My grandfather used to say “Capos are for sissies” and I learned not to like them. But some songs that I teach need a capo, so one of my students got one for me last Christmas. And now I had to use it for “Jolene”, and yes it was a relief of my fretting hand. But I can picture my grandfather up there saying “Oh no” LOL! (It was only the one tune!)

Other tunes I played for the first time ranged from “Pink Pony Club” (you read that right), “Raise Your Glass”, to “Locked Out Of Heaven”, “Home Sweet Home” and “Ring Of Fire”. Many I was quite familiar with but didn’t rely on my memory. I re-learned the parts to be safe. Even my own aging brain can betray me at times.

It was a good first time sub gig for me, and if more happen, then I will be more prepared. I think back to my first gig with Supernova back in December 2022 (!) and every show since then has been better and better. All about finding the groove and locking in.

I need a nap now.

If this happened to me a few years ago, I would have jumped out of my skin. But over time, I learned not to believe a lot of things, even if I have a ton of evidence. All I could think when I opened my email last night was…

Ya gotta be kiddin’ me?!

I doubt very strongly that 1000 people follow me. Some are most likely bots, as to be expected. But one thing’s certain: I have never ever paid for likes or follow anywhere on any social platform. You can tell the ones that do that, it’s really easy. My fan base (if I have one) has always been organic. Slow, yes. But the real deal. I’ve read the stories about bands losing their accounts because of being caught buying likes.

I can’t even recall when I signed up for Spotify. Maybe I can look to see if there’s a date that shows it. Even so, who cares? If at least half of the follows are genuine, fine with me. I earned them. Not like my music was ever meant to set the world on fire but I think I created a tiny spark here and there.

It’s funny that the bottom of the post says “people now awaiting your next release”.

Keep waiting.

I’m in no rush whatsoever to do anything.

I came across a video by a guy named James Michael, completely unaware that he was the singer in the band Sixx A.M. (Sorry but they never factored on my musical radar at all!) But his podcasts were a breadth of wisdom and insight that needed to be said.

Here’s one of his many videos: James Michael This one made me go down the cliched rabbit hole.

I won’t spoil anything for you, but just know that what he says are hard facts, cold truths, and it’s coming from someone who dug through the trenches of the con job that is the music industry.

Why am I talking about this? Because local bands need to hear these things! Chances are they won’t listen. I wouldn’t have been ready to listen either a few years ago. Just being honest there. But time and certain people have a funny way of waking your sorry ass up.

Mine was smacked hard.

Will I stop being creative? No. But will I lay down more boundaries when it comes to my vision? Absolutely. One thing James talks about in another video is the “dark side to songwriting”. I won’t go into detail there, you can scope the clip yourself if you wish. My take is this: nobody cares about your music unless they can worm their way in for even the tiniest credit. All about being seen and heard, no matter the cost. ‘I added that D note! I get a credit!”

Slow down there, Sparky.

These past five years for me have been some of the heaviest in terms of soul-searching, facing hard realities, learning sad truths, and really knowing what people (musicians or not) truly think of me. All of it was eye-opening and eye-watering. I can’t recall a time before 2020 when I was this hard-pressed to reach into my blackened soul and uncover things that laid dormant.

Solitude became my friend without me asking.

The point of this blog is that I hope at least one local musician checks the podcast out. They might shrug and say “Ah, Bello, you’re just bitter because you never got to be a guitar god.” Yeah you’re right but I’m also trying to save someone from the bitterness that I’ve acquired over time. I see a lot of clueless bands, acting like it’s still 1984 and they live in their mom’s garage. “Our band’s gonna MAKE IT, dude!”

You’re my age or older, dude!

I would never deter anyone from trying to get somewhere. Being a musician is hard enough, but the other external factors that compound things make it REALLY difficult to get ahead. It’s not the 80s where you had no internet, no Bandcamp or YouTube. You relied on word-of-mouth, and your band actually had to be GOOD to get attention. Now, forget it. Social media has made it damn near impossible for anyone to get noticed. You have to wade through a lot of dirt to find a diamond.

To put things in perspective: a bass player friend of mine in California said to me a while back that she clicked on my link for the MOOD SWINGS album. Told me that she didn’t expect much because “how good could this be?” but she was surprised that it was enjoyable. Her point was that local bands really don’t have much to offer in the way of anything remotely unique in the original world. Everyone are too busy copying and imitating. No wonder NJ has 2,435 cover bands in a ten-mile radius! But here’s another cold hard fact…

There are a ton of cover/tribute bands because at some point, every musician tried making it as an original artist. And realized “Wow this is tough” so they turn to covers. And guess what? People show up! People get drunk! You get paid! Everyone wins (just please don’t drink and drive…I am being serious here.) I help cover bands out because it is fun and can make a few bucks. For a brief period, I felt like I sold my soul. But since I’m still writing music, I am spared.

I’m not the wide-eyed dude who thinks his music will save the world anymore. I do hope to touch one person’s brain and heart with any song that I write. And to be fair, the local bands around here are doing better than I am as far as marketing, networking, writing familiar material, and all basically looking the same. Easier to digest. I’m the outlier, the black sheep, the one who is difficult to “get” at first. But then when someone does, their minds are torn wide open.

“I didn’t think you were that good, Bello.”

As Prince once said, “Chalk one up for the Kid…”

I used to take art classes in middle and high school. Putting pencil or charcoal to paper was something I enjoyed doing. But then teachers decided to tell me how to draw and the joy was taken out of it. I can still hear Sr. Virginia’s voice as I drew a cool picture of Deep Purple singer Ian Gillan: “You don’t have to draw every single tooth in his mouth, Mr. Bello!”

Even back then, people tried changing me. So it’s nothing new.

I was always under the impression that being an artist of some caliber meant not being chained to the Earth. You could drift off, whether with a pencil or a guitar, and be creative and free. Even Picasso once said something like everyone’s born an artist, please stay that way. But there’s this thing called society. It likes to beat the inner child out of you and turn you into a soulless being. You’re not living, you’re just existing to make others happy (and make them money).

So I turned my attention to being a guitarist and potential songwriter. But there’s this thing called OTHER PEOPLE who love to get in the way. People think they know my vision and how things should go. Long before I became an Ibanez endorser, I pounded the pavement like everyone else who had hopes and aspirations of being in magazines, on radio and television. But you see, I never followed the flock. I could never have the big booming Bon Jovi hair, or the pretentious tortured look like Alice In Chains. I was always…me. And people didn’t like that.

Your planet is strange.

People have perceptions and pre-conceived notions of what or who I should be. It makes them comfortable and easier to label me. A dude I went to high school with famously said to me “You don’t play like Eddie Van Halen…YOU SUCK!” He’s right, I didn’t play like Eddie. Nor did I suck. But he wanted me to sound like Eddie so he could pretend to identify with me. And well, I’m not good at giving people what they want.

Playing the clubs was another lesson in abnormal psychology. Lots of pretenders much like what I see today, but back then, there was hope of getting somewhere with original music. Was/is there a scene? Not really. New Jersey will never have a scene like Los Angeles, Seattle, England, Nashville. Why? Oh there’s LOTS of factors but I will let you think of the reasons.

One day I will opine and then see the pitchforks come after me.

When I was working on what became the LAYERS OF TIME album, the producer said to me as we were stuffing our faces with salads, “What you’re doing is art! It’s not just banging.” I stopped and asked “Art? Really?” He said “Yes, you’re doing something different than what’s around here.” THAT’S very true but…art?! And if I go backwards a few years, a photographer-friend told me after my debut Starland Ballroom gig that “You’re an artist, everyone else are just trying to be famous.”

I wanted fame too but glad it never happened. Save that for another blog.

So…art? All the years of being reprimanded for my perfectionism, the years of hearing “Nah I don’t like when you do that”…I was always creating something a bit deeper than the power chords or silly noises. Others have tried thwarting me for sticking my neck out because, ta-da, they can’t handle what I’m doing. You can’t slot me. I have heard nice things such as “You remind me of Steve Vai/Joe Satriani” or “I definitely hear Rush and Living Colour in what you do” but ultimately, nobody can really put their finger on me. Many have tried. Am I totally original? No. Am I unique? Yes. Am I what people want to hear? No.

That means I’m doing something right!

I’m an artist, dammit 🙂

Looks like Linus wants in on the action. He’s happy that I’m playing live again 🙂

I could be wrong.

Maybe he’s plotting something?

Anyway, very soon, I will be strapping a guitar around my torso and playing some gigs with a couple of cover bands. I am definitely excited! I always said that if I can play 1-2 gigs a month, then great. Now I have three over the course of two months.

I’m out of hiding…for now.

Tom from Blame It On The Girl sent me the set list for the two June shows yesterday, and in true Bello fashion, I went right to work. Most of the songs are embedded in my brain, so that’s cool. There are some new tunes that I have to learn, and that’s not a problem either. Definitely more country tunes than what I’m used to, but country guitar players can give rock players a good run for their money. The licks are quite cool! A lot of pop/Top 40 stuff, as to be expected, and of course some harder rock interspersed. Anyone who knows me, knows that I always deliver the goods. Never have to worry about me messing things up or disrespecting the material.

Though I like to sneak some weird shit from time to time 😉

Obviously I will not divulge what songs are on the list, as I prefer the element of surprise. Safe to say that there are songs way out of my wheelhouse, and that’s fine. A few are totally in my comfort zone. Gotta have that balance. (I will mention that one song is going to be “my jam”!)

And while the Supernova gig isn’t until August, it will be here before you know it. (So will Christmas…ugh!) Will there be any more dates between now and then? Got me! Again, element of surprise!!!

Now what about my own songs?

Well…what about them?

I’ve been writing, demoing, re-writing, throwing things out, pulling them from the trash…you know how I operate. One minute “This tune is great”, the next “Eh, just not grabbin’ me anymore.” And a week later, “Why did I get rid of that one?” The perplexing saga of being a creative type is real. I’m clearly nowhere near ready to find players and get to work. My heart is still reeling from the last cd. Feel like Rachmaninoff at times but soon those feelings will disappear. And maybe I can feel like Paganini again.

Sorry, Yngwie!

This blog is inspired by two people: my aunt, and my friend Rachel Logan. So in the words of David Brewster: “Buckle up, ‘cuz here we go!”

If I knew then what I know now…

Saw my aunt on Mother’s Day and we proceeded to talk about regular stuff like work, family, friends. We talked about the gig back in November and I said that since then, I’m more relaxed about things. Maybe TOO relaxed? I mentioned that I lost my drive and ambition. She told me that “having drive is over-rated” and that “(with) too much drive, you lose sight of why you want to be successful, which is to be happy”.

Are you paying attention, class?

She went on to say that it’s hard to enjoy success when you use up all that energy, and “time to stop and smell the roses”. WHEW! Yeah I wish I heard these words many years ago. I could have saved myself a lot of time, energy, and grief. But then again, when my wheels were spinning and my ego was on fire, I most likely wouldn’t have listened in the first place.

As for my friend Rachel, I pretty much spilled my guts about how it seems like no musician wants me around and all that. She told me that I said the same thing about five times…oops! I repeat myself because I don’t think people take me seriously, as well as not pay any attention to me in the first place. Rachel said to say things like “That situation is no longer a match” and “That’s no longer an avenue that’s right for me.”

Oh and she told me that stop beating myself up.

Now what do I do for fun?!

But seriously, hearing advice from these two people really opened my eyes to a lot. I have to change my mindset. It’s imperative. Time to do away with how I talk about myself, and how I perceive others. I’m definitely a quirky cat, and I embrace that very much. Whereas others are doing whatever to fit in, I was born to shine, to stand out.

I wear pink sneakers, for Pete’s sake!!!

Also have to learn to manifest better too. Having negative thoughts isn’t conducive, as the universe will not provide. Not at all.

Breathe deep…I got this!