Last night I went up to DJ Metal Mistress’ studio to do another live radio show. While we did the usual witty banter back and forth, cracked lots of bad jokes, and talked about the usual topics, I kept something under my imaginary hat for a month. Wasn’t easy but when I said it, I thought Metal Mistress was going to burst into tears.

I announced working on my 10th album.

When the words “I started pre-production on my 10th album, and Mike Sabatini is on drums again”, I thought to myself, “Did I just utter that out loud?!” Even I was taken by surprise. This was on par with when I announced last September about the TM Stevens benefit show with Living Colour. I am very good at keeping secrets but some almost made feel like I was about to explode (spot the reference).

As some of you know, I had been brooding about the last album for various reasons. Instead of hanging onto grudges and disappointments, it was time to let go and say “Shit happens, move on!” And while it took some time to move forward, it happened. I had been writing demos since 2023, and up until very recently, I narrowed down the songs that I felt worked best. But what about musicians? I honestly debated using drum programs like I did on LAYERS OF TIME but that was so tedious. I reached out to some people but nothing happened.

One phone call changed things.

Mike and I talked on the phone about how our lives seemed to have transformed in various ways. I won’t speak for him but I can tell all of you that I’ve seriously leveled up over time rather quickly. And he sounded like he moved into a new realm as well. So I asked him up-front, “May I send you two demos to check out?” and he responded with “Yes definitely!” He is also busy playing drums with a couple of other bands on their albums so I said “Take your time with my stuff, as you’re busy with other projects.” The next day or so, he told me that the tunes were really good and that if my schedule allowed it, that we can get together and try them out.

We met up on October 1st (how fitting!) and it’s like we never stopped playing together. Musically, it works. Period. He told me that he loves the challenges and that he can be creative with my music. I am all for freedom of expression and that we agreed that this album needs to have “layers of guitar” and “never mind the live shows”. Well, thankfully for him and a lot of other people, I have NO desire to perform my own songs live anymore. That ship sailed. I only want to make a new album, with nine new songs (that can change, who knows?) and say that I finally made a tenth album. I’ve said this before but I didn’t expect to make two albums, let alone ten. And while it’s too early to tell, if this truly is going to be my final opus, I want it to be a grand statement, one that speaks louder than anything before.

We have worked on four demos so far and the tunes range from full-on heavy metal to funky stuff to one tune that I admit was supposed to channel Rush but it came out more like 5150-era Van Halen. It works, so I got out of the way. I write what feels good, and will continue to say that forever.

And now that I announced album 10 is in the baby stages, it’s time to roll our sleeves up and really put the pedal to the metal. There’s no deadline, no rushing things, but at the same time, everything has been so relaxed that things are flowing amazingly. This is how my last album should have been, but the gods decided “Nah, this one will be more of a joy to make.”

Got that right!

Yes, that’s a corn maze.

I did a gig with Supernova at Lentini Farms last night, and I learned two things: I can play guitar with one glove on my fretting hand and with a leather jacket on.

My Judas Priest fantasies have come full circle.

This time the weather was windy which made things much chillier. I purposely practiced the songs at home with the glove on but then realized “Maybe I need the jacket too?” It was a bit constricting at first but learned to deal with things. That’s what it means to be professional.

And battling a runny nose too!

But the show was a success! Good crowd, lots of clapping and dancing, which made things go smoother. And a first for the band, as well as myself, we played for FIVE hours! Of course, we had breaks in between sets, but once more people started coming to the stage and dancing, why stop now?! Kept going, pulling out song after song, whether or not I knew the tunes.

My fingers were cold anyway so what did it matter?! HAHA!

I tell you what though: standing in the open field, looking up at the stars and finding the planets on the Sky Map app…it was all so breathtaking! A nice way to wind down after playing an endless stream of songs. I’m one of the luckiest bastards alive. My life is music 24/7/365, whether I’m playing, writing, rehearsing, or teaching it. Once the car was packed, I stood on the field, soaking in the night vibes. THIS is what it means to be alive!!

Now I need a nap.

All three of you are most likely wondering “What’s the deal? You haven’t blogged since October 4th!”

I can dream, right?

Truth is, I have been super busy with a lot. That’s not an excuse at all. Lessons are packed to the gills and that’s a good problem to have. Feels nice to keep busy with teaching, inspiring young minds and a few adults as well. One of my students asked me “How do you remember so many songs?” and I said “I just do, wish I had a proper answer.”

Which leads to the next topic: cover band gigs coming up soon. Between the two shows approaching, I will be doing about 90 songs total. WHEW! So if you want to ask me “How do you remember so many songs?”, again I say “I just do.” Do I blank out at times? Of course! I learned little tricks from the pros on what to do when you have a brain fart. I won’t say them here because a magician never reveals his tricks 😉

The first gig will be with Supernova at Lentini Farms (Newton, NJ) on Friday October 24. Last year we were told “You can stop early because there’s nobody here” but that was because it got darker earlier and colder too! I doubt people will mill around a corn maze in the dark. We even had space heaters on the stage; I better learn how to play guitar with fingerless gloves like TM Stevens did. I might look cool too.

Might.

The second gig will be at Mason Jar (Mahwah, NJ) with Rubber Duckie Riot. And this gig will be 11 minutes from my house THANK GOD! A CLOSE SHOW!! Been eons since I played in my backyard. This will be on Halloween and yes I’m in costume, as a has-been guitar god. I dress like that every day anyway.

And I was asked recently by DJ Metal Mistress to be on her Metal Meltdown show for Wednesday October 29. She said it will be my pre-birthday bash (it’s on November 2) and that I will be in charge of the songs. You know what I’ll pick! But will also throw some curveballs. It’s how I roll. True to form, we will talk about anything and everything on her show because when the two of us get together, it’s pure comedy with some seriousness thrown in.

“Anything else, Steve?”

In my world, you never know.

And I never know either…

The double-header gigs were fun but glad they’re behind me. With exactly one hour to schlep from one show to the next…yeah it was rough. I’m not complaining at all; in fact, I am grateful that Bob Lamb asked me (he could have asked any guitarist) to pitch in.

I’m a road warrior now!

First gig with Rubber Duckie Riot was a lot of fun, lots of energy, good crowd, but wow it went really fast. Forty minutes felt like ten, which means it was a lot of fun. I will say this though: not to sound negative, but my guitar tone was muddy, which was weird. Turns out, it was the Morpheus Drop pedal that I borrowed that mucked up the sound. The guitar sounded lifeless, no balls but the crowd loved everything, and that’s the tale of the tape.

Second show with Spare Parts was almost cancelled on account of the singer having a fever yesterday. Not one but two singers were found and they both took turns to sing various songs, and it was very loose and low-pressure. “You know this one?” “Yeah” “Okay we’re doing it.” I didn’t need the Drop pedal and wouldn’t you know it…MY TONE CAME BACK!! Tight, focused, crisp and ME!!! Not a great turnout, but the people who were there were dancing and shouting the words back. No two gigs are going to be alike, right?

I am happier playing guitar more than ever before. Despite the crap tone at the first gig, I loved being on a big stage (that’s been a few years) and going for the throat. What I lacked in tone, I made up for in stage presence and connecting eyes with the crowd. And as an added bonus, it was great seeing Tammy Moore (from Tammy & The Others) after a couple of years. She had been battling breast cancer but thankfully knocked it out of the park!

Now I’m a small hiatus until the two October shows w/Supernova and RDR. And boy do I need it!

Holy shit, where’s the Tylenol?!

I asked for one gig a month. For the most part, I get that. But here’s a twist in my matrix…a double header!?

There isn’t enough coffee in the world.

Bob Lamb, bassist with many cover bands, asked me today if I could possibly do two shows on the same day September 27th. HUH?! I’m a pro so I said yes of course. It will be a long day but a good one.

The first show will be with his band Rubber Duckie Riot at Hawthorne Day in Hawthorne, NJ (of course!) But wait, was I supposed to debut with them on Halloween? Now that will be the second show so this will be the NEW debut. Their guitarist can’t make it so I got the nod. We will only play a one-hour set, in and out.

But then…two hours later (said in French voice ala SpongeBob)…

Bob and I will jackass up to Airport Pub in Sussex, NJ for another gig that starts at 9! I am already tired for next Saturday! This band is called Spare Parts, and it’s basically guys from other bands, hence the name. And it’s more or less a “wing it” thing. Should be a lot of fun but wow I hope to summon up the strength for this.

I am not complaining at all. In fact, I am super grateful for these opportunities. The first half of this year was really slow but since June, it’s been gradually picking up steam. Now this…ZOOM!! Oh, and I got more private students, so all slots are booked. I am back to teaching six days a week, three in the store, three private lessons. I will have Saturdays off and that’s fine with me. My schedule is busy again but relaxed just the same.

In my world, that makes sense somehow.

You are most likely looking at this picture and thinking “Has Steve lost his mind?”

I did that years ago, so keep up with me.

I will never ever profess to being knowledgeable at all about Buddhism or whatever. However, lately I’ve been feeling things shift, my energy being re-purposed in some cosmic way. Now you’re reading this and ready to sign off but please stay with me here.

The world has been in chaos for quite some time. I’ll never discuss politics, religion, anything that will spark controversy. Simply stated, a lot of people need to wake up and smell the coffee (mine is strong this morning!) Read that above post and mentally check off what you’ve done. I guarantee 20% of it has happened. I can speak from past experiences: I thought being busy was the answer. It’s good to be busy as long as it’s doing things you enjoy. Some people love running around like a headless chicken and then when they are able to slow down, a wave of guilt takes over. Why? Because society does not like when you’re happy!!!

Read that last line again.

Do I miss performing? Yes. Do I miss pushing tickets, stressing the day of a show, and feeling like I’m already tired tomorrow? No. I used to think all of those things were the key to feeling fulfilled. I was so very wrong. I never cared for “Well you only sold x amount so you’re on first, but the other band sold ALL their tickets (bought them in advance, really). Never about the music, all about playing the games. Not conducive to art.

(Oops! I forgot it’s about posing and being delusional!)

Do I miss the hustle and bustle of my last job? At times. When sales were great, I was invincible. But when sales were soft, I felt powerless. That’s no way to live. Especially when you worked with toxic people who didn’t and wouldn’t know how to chill out. Everything was rush-rush-rush, get those sales, or hear the wrath of “I could fire you right now”. Again, that’s how society operates.

Grind away until you die. No thanks.

I would get mocked for doing my walks. Yes that’s true. “Wait, you WALK?!” I’ve been walking since as a child and it’s never stopped. Yet some of my friends and family will scoff it off. Then they try it. And then realize, “Wait, this really is the best!” Even if I walk for 20 minutes, it helps wire me up for the day. Unless it’s freezing cold out, then I can’t make a move!

What’s the point of this blog? I’ll tell ya…

You all need to learn to appreciate who and where you are in life. It took me til about four months ago to suddenly have that light bulb epiphany. But isn’t that silly hippy-dippy nonsense? To those who enjoy being super-busy and “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”, yes. They don’t know any other life because they were taught “YOU HAVE TO KEEP MOVING!” Or maybe some are running away from a reality that they refuse to face, so keeping busy makes them feel a step ahead.

I may not always be right but am never wrong 😉

Also the company I keep has helped me. I had to back away from going to certain shows because the vibes don’t agree with me. Do I love metal? Of course. Do I love the wanna-be attitudes and posturing? No. And that’s really what most people do, no matter the profession. Everyone basically reading the same script, just change the job and don’t trip over the furniture. I never put on an act but was good as making it look like what I was doing was fulfilling. Deep down inside, I was a mess. Here’s the rub: PEOPLE LIKED WHEN I WAS MISERABLE! They felt a connection because, as they say, misery loves company. I shed that skin a while back and watched everyone disappear from my life.

Since the lockdowns, I have learned to embrace and appreciate my solitude. Long walks and finding quiet spots on bike trails and forests made me feel more grounded. I gained a bit more clarity and insight to myself, the world around me, and old wounds started closing. Years of unpacking is a chore, but I am ready to tackle it. And then the strangest thing happened…

I looked at life way differently. People I thought I knew showed their truest colors. I found a new tribe, if you will. They enjoy my company, bad jokes, and aren’t concerned with keeping up with their purported image. That’s so exhausting! These people are chill, no airs, no pretentious nonsense. And surprise surprise, sometimes I actually get invited places! They want me around?! Whodathunkit?!

My world is now more focused, less cluttered. Truth be told, some friends and family don’t like that. Too bad! I like my more relaxed life. I am busy with teaching, and it’s the most rewarding feeling in the world. As I’ve often said, my students love me and want to learn things. Other musicians don’t. Yeah, I found my place after all these years. I can only hope for others to achieve their next level before it’s too late.

One last thing: I’ve learned to protect my peace at all costs. I know/knew too many assholes, to be blunt. They enjoy being antagonistic, surly, basically a bully. Again, they don’t know any other life. I never fit in a lot of wheelhouses growing up. I was made to think nobody could ever like me.

Well, I like me. (Thank you, John Candy!)

I had to learn to like me over the years. I learned to let go of the constant need for validation. Do I want to be appreciated? Yes. But it had to start with me. Was I happy with things? If yes, great. If no, fix them. I had to stop depending on others to make me happy, when they were busy making me unhappy.

Enjoy your “scene” and your “cliques”, okay?

I’ll be here with my cats.

Last week I posted a blog about the possibility of foisting a 10-second clip featuring a rough demo/new tune. Twelve people upvoted, and nobody downvoted, so as promised, the clip went up on my various socials. Received some nice words, and a few people seemed genuinely excited that I have new music up my sleeve.

But I’m ever the realist here…

Two years ago, my latest cd ACT NATURAL was released on various streaming sites (a month before physical copies were in my hands). The reaction to the new album was, well, less than stellar. Some said the music was still ambitious and unique, others said it was weird. When have I not been weird?! As artists, we live and die by the next album/single/video. It’s a brutal way to live, really.

I distanced myself totally from that album for many reasons. I went into a depression for a while but still felt compelled to write new material. The earlier works were more angry, and while that satisfied my blackened soul for a brief period, I thought “If I don’t want to hear this over and over, what will make someone else want to?” So I created a batch of NEW new material, and while it’s not sunshine and rainbows, it’s not as angry. One drummer commented to me a few years ago that “Your music is SO direct and in-your-face, I can’t handle it!”

Now I see why few people supported my music and live shows.

If a piece of art is too forward-thinking or assertive, people shy away. I can think back to when thrash metal first came out. The old-school metal fans said it was “noise” and “there’s no melody” yet it appealed to someone, right? There’s always an ass for every horse. Anything that challenges the senses tends to be met with either “THIS IS PERFECT FOR ME” or “TURN THIS SHIT OFF”.

My music straddles between the two fences. Facts.

I posted the rough demo on August 25 this year, 10 seconds of a riff, nothing more. But again, being Sir Real (get it?), I have to come to terms with things: Nobody is going to salivate over what I do and that’s okay. I don’t write “drinking man’s music”, more like “thinking man’s music”. While it’s not as complex as Rush or Yes, it has its own set of speed bumps for people to drive over. I hear echoes of past band members asking me “Can’t you write something normal?” or “Can you write a tune like (insert band here)?” The fact is this: people want immediate results, and they tend to think very commercial-minded. Nobody is going to sit and think “Wow, you’re doing something unique. I like that about you.”

Does this mean I stop writing? No way in hell. If anything, the new stuff I’ve created has made me do something I’ve not done with previous demos in a long time: listen to them over and over. Not to come up with melodies, but to bask in the thought of “I did this!” Call it ego, I don’t care. I am proud of my work. Do I think it’s the best stuff? I leave that up to the public.

Judging by the nice responses the newest little clip received, think it’s safe to say that you want to hear something new from me that totally rocks. I am proud to have done some ambient music over the past year, that’s where my head was at during the times. But I want to get my hands dirty again.

Who’s with me?