Here we are the first full week of 2026, and already I’m entering a new phase or level in my life. Whatever you want to call it, this energy has been shifting for me since August last year. I don’t want to sound all cosmic and deep but will lay my cards on the table for all to see.

I won’t be table scraps for anyone anymore.

I spent years feeling like I had to please others and make sure they were happy, and that in turn I would feel somewhat validated. But I have noticed over time, most people have either quietly blended with the furniture, or overtly told me that they are tired of me. Fine with me. I stopped apologizing for being me a while back. Not my fault if anyone fails to understand me. It only means they enjoy being ignorant and closed-minded.

Some of you will read this and think “Wow, Steve’s being really pretentious” or “He’s a pompous ass.” You’d be right about the second part. Being pretentious was never on my bingo card. I’m an intelligent person, not smarter or better than anyone else, but I’m keenly aware of myself and the world outside. Some family members have told each other that I am obnoxious and annoying. Okay, guilty as charged. But am I really that bad? I can be a bit much for some, which means go find someone less than. Again, no apologies for who I am.

I’ve always been called a “late bloomer” which explains it has taken me many years to finally reach this point in my life, musically and otherwise. People will think if you make it at a young age, you’re set for life and you must be really smart. Not so. Of course I felt that I deserved to be a famous guitar god at 20-22 years old. I never hid that from anyone. But I was always told to be ashamed for thinking that way. When I hit my 30s, I would hear “Time to cut the hair and sell your gear.” And I heard it in my 40s but…wait…did I not make some albums, gain endorsements, and tour with legends? Get back to me on that.

So here I am at 56 years old, and am proud of that. When I turned 50, people would say “You hit a milestone.” I guess so. I never saw aging as a race to the finish line. I’ve gained more knowledge and wisdom over the years, and that can either inspire or scare people. Usually the latter. I don’t judge but if some people enjoy being blissfully unaware of things, be my guest.

I was never meant for success on a global level. I had to accept that but it was solely my thought, not anyone else who tried stopping me in my tracks. But people view success only on a global level, never local. I am a local hero, but rarely get acknowledged for it. That’s okay. I am proud of myself, proud of my talents, and am successful in more ways than being a great player. Teaching is where I truly belong, and this month will be 30 years since I met my first-ever guitar student (and we still talk to this day!)

My pie-in-the-sky mentality is gone. I had been accused of being delusional but let’s face it, you have to be a little to get ahead. And it’s only delusional until it works. And then people will say crap like “You stuck to your guns” and “Am proud of you for never giving up.” Spare me.

Oh and here’s the kicker: I always knew my worth and had a quiet confidence but disguised it with self-deprecation and feeling small around others. No more. I refuse to be at the bottom of peoples’ totem poles anymore, and that includes family as well as friends. No more will I be someone’s punching bag or sounding board. I am living for me after many years of hoping to feel validated and liked/loved. A lot of people like to hate me, and hate to like me.

That’s a THEM problem.

I will continue to be me, for better or worse. I will always be an island, a shooting star with nowhere to land. Never meant to fit anywhere. I tried, believe me. But that was not on my bingo card either.

Stick around if you want. I am only getting warmed up.

I’m typing this blog on December 19, 2025. You will see this on New Years Ever.

Pretty cool, huh?

Every year around this time, I do my year-end roundup, and I leave it all out there to see. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I am a PR agent’s nightmare because they would want me to pretend that life is sunshine and rainbows. It’s not. But as you will read, you will see how life turned around for me and I’m feeling better than ever.

First half of this year was not good. At all. Maybe it’s because I got my hopes up when I was asked to play a Supernova gig on January 2. I thought “Cool, more gigs coming!” Not so fast. Things came to a screeching halt between January and June, regarding gigs and private lessons. I never want money to dominate my life but when you’re broke, everyone and everything pisses you off.

Facts.

Thankfully I had a good amount of store students yet I wanted pocket change. I did a session with the band Apathy back in April, had a great time shredding 16 solos (!) and being paid a few bucks. Okay, maybe things would pick up? Again, nope. All my mind would repeat was “What’s going on!?” Was I trying too hard? Apparently so.

I was still battling a two-year depression between the brutal winter and the failure of my last cd. Few people understood my feelings, most would tell me to suck it up or get with the times. Not that easy, so when you are in my shoes, you will understand. People notice the color left my face, I didn’t walk with any confidence, my voice sounded tired. My soul was tired. Simple as that.

Then on my son’s birthday, I received two messages on the same day from two different bands (and two different bassists!) about gigs. Okay now we’re moving. Then I was getting emails about “my son (or daughter) needs a teacher” and my heart started beating better again. Maybe money is the ultimate mood changer after all.

For me, it’s all about the music. Yes, making a few bucks helps. I can’t put gas in my car or buy strings with my good looks. More gigs were coming, more students were emerging…am I sounding shallow? I don’t think so. I am grateful for any opportunities that come my way. But I wasn’t feeling 100% me. What do I do?

I went on a nature hike, sat on a rock and looked up to the sky and asked “Can anyone help me?” I’m NOT a religious person but do believe in a higher power. Nothing happened right away and I didn’t expect that. But I would feel weird vibes, slight twinges in my stomach, my head was spinning…was I getting sick or dying? I was leveling up…feeling enlightened and awakened…my world changed without realizing. If this sounds like hippy-dippy bullshit, it’s not. I felt genuine shifts in my world.

I was still me but was I really STILL ME? Well yes and no. My humor is still intact, but my soul wasn’t tired anymore. My students said things to me like “Wow you look happier!” and “You’re more animated than usual.” My energy was revamped. Am I out of the woods? Not totally. But I can’t recall the last time I felt this amazing.

Maybe when I was 14?

I also noticed my circle getting smaller. People whom I thought were friends faded into the background. I hardly hear from a lot of “friends” anymore. I was rarely invited places, and now I am really left out of some events. That’s okay. My vibes are different, always have been. I’m not saying that I’m better than anyone. Just different and re-focused. People can sense that, and they backed off me. They don’t want to level up, they’d rather be stuck in 8th grade mentally. Fine with me, no judging. I don’t miss my youth at all, no reason to want to hang onto it.

There’s been more clarity in my world. It can be scary to have this much awareness and freedom. I’ve evolved past certain frequencies; I didn’t lose myself but found myself after many years of feeling like I was lost. I was never small enough for some people. Now they can find someone to stomp on and strip them of their identity.

But on a better note…

I remastered/reissued the final two albums to complete my discography on Spotify/Bandcamp/etc. Surprise surprise…some downloads are selling?! Some thought it was my new album. For some to think that, maybe my music was ahead of the curve a bit? Nah, that would be presumptuous of me to think so. But most of those songs sound fresh today as the day there were recorded 20-plus years ago.

And yes, new music!!!

Believe me, I was as shocked as a lot of people were when it was announced that work towards a tenth album was finally happening. Did I say those words on my friend DJ Metal Mistress’ show back on October 29? Yes I did. And the drummer once again was going to be Mike Sabatini, so this is a first: he’s the first drummer to play on three consecutive albums in a row. Kinda like Cozy Powell with three Rainbow albums. Am sure he’d like that comparison!

Demos started on October 1st, and with a break here and there, we managed to record eight demos, the last one on December 17. It’s nice to plow into the material, then sit back and say “Ahhhhh!” Is this my best stuff? I will let YOU decide. But I am super proud of the stuff so far. It’s very strong material, more how the last album should have been but…we know how that went, right? And we decided that recordings will commence mid-late January 2026. No release date, no timeline, just recording music and basking in the glory that is a brand new Steve Bello album.

I hope 2026 is a more harmonious year for everyone in the world. We need peace in our time but also a bit of loud metal never hurt nobody 😉

The eighth and final song was worked on this morning. Pinkie wanted to be part of it, so I brought her to rehearsal, and life was good.

So is the music.

After going over the seven songs with some weird technical issues happening (those pesky gremlins), we tackled song number eight. Went over the parts, fused them together, talked about drum ideas, and things fell into place. No I can’t write anything normal, and my idea of simple could be someone else’s complex. I write what feels good, and will die on the hill saying that.

With three more rehearsals to go, we will begin recording the next album during the third week of January.

WHAT?

Yep, Mike and I decided it’s time to nail the songs down and then get CJ Scioscia to come up here to help engineer like he did with ACT NATURAL. No rushing, no timelines or deadline. I don’t have to do an album, or need to. I want to. Big difference. Even if it sells one copy, fine. It’s music that I am proud of, even in rough form. Mike has diligently been coming up with ideas, sometimes following the riff, other times playing off it, and things sound wonderful. And as I may have said before, he’s the first musician to appear on three consecutive albums in a row.

World record!

So this final song, what’s it like? Hmmm…another unintentional Van Halen-ish thing, but also tinges of Zeppelin, King’s X and Steve Vai. Yep, those are bold comparisons but am honest with everyone. Oh and I admit to have nicked a little Yes…shhhh! I don’t want Steve Howe grumbling at me 🙂

Ultimately it still sounds like me.

Take it or leave it.

Here it is, Wednesday December 10th. I have not stepped foot outside all day. That’s okay though. I have nothing to do, nowhere to go…you can figure out the rest.

Why am I home?!

For starters, no rehearsal today. Mike is busy helping another band by playing drums on their upcoming album. He’s been quite the busy bee which is good. We both talked about how this year, our lives went from zero to 100mph in a heartbeat. Pretty crazy, really. He’s getting bands coming in to record, and he’s recording as well. As for me, I went from not having many students to an explosion of them.

Always when you’re not looking.

We will get back into his studio next Wednesday to work on the eighth and final demo before taking another two weeks off for Xmas Eve/New Years Eve. “I thought you said there were nine songs?” Yes, eight with guitar/bass/drums, and one a totally solo clean guitar piece. Was originally hoping for ten songs, since this will be the tenth album. But I don’t force things, they happen naturally. And in this case, nine is fine.

Hey I’m a rapper!

When will we record? Best I can say as of this writing is either late January or mid-February 2026. We are not putting any deadlines or even guessing when the album will be finished, mastered, and out the door. I can say that the last time I worked on an album during the winter (0 stars, wouldn’t recommend), that was the album MARBLEHEAD and it was recorded between Feb-March 2018 and released May 15 that year. No, we’re not rushing things, but whatever happens, there you go.

So, of course, all two of you are asking, “What do the songs sound like? And what are the album and song titles?” I can answer the first part with great certainty. As you might figure out, the songs are pretty heavy with good melodies, lots of groove and progressive elements. Hence why I call my music “progmetalfunk”. But as always with whatever I create, don’t get too comfortable. I zig when others want me to zag. Something might sound like a traditional heavy metal tune but don’t blink! Or something may start off smooth and then…ah why spoil things for ya! The ninth song will be atmospheric and ambient without the two-year depression I was going through though…

As for album and song titles…let’s just say I don’t want anyone stealing my ideas again. That happened back in 2006. I was so excited to talk about new ideas on a forum and well, next thing I know, something I came up with became someone else’s work. NO MORE!

Soon I will do a year-end wrap-up on a future blog. Then again, some of what I said here encapsulated 2025 for me overall.

But I like to talk and blog so buckle up.

The last piece of the puzzle is now complete. ALL NINE ALBUMS are now available, totally remastered and rebranded, on my Bandcamp page!

Now I can relax!

I remastered JUPITER RETURN a few days ago so this is a pleasant surprise, even for me. I have ABOUT TO EXPLODE on cd here at home but my laptop doesn’t have a cd player. I had files on a previous laptop but that’s dead and gone. So what do I do? Oh wait…ask my friend Ko if he has it on file!

Ko and I hadn’t talked in a while, as life gets in the way. But we had a great chat about, well, a lot. Of course I had to ask “You have the files from ABOUT over there?” And he sent them to me via Dropbox as wav files. Okay great, now I can get to work!

Oh I had a lot of work to do!!

I forgot how raw and noisy this cd was HAHA! This album came out three years after JUPITER (July 11, 2008 to be precise). Hearing these songs again brought back a lot of great memories, and the music jumps out and never lets go. It’s as experimental as JUPITER but damn I forgot how heavy this was!!!

Ko had a studio in his old house, and if you can picture a room crammed with guitars, amps, and drummer CJ’s kit…you couldn’t fit a toothpick in between anything. It was HOT in the room too but damn we had fun. Way different than the previous sessions, that’s for sure. I was hell-bent on reclaiming my throne (which I seem to do every so often).

Aside from how abrasive some of this sounded, the last three songs were in drop-A tuning! I did that on various albums here and there. Some musicians hate such a low tuning. Maybe I need to buy an 8-string with the low F#…hmmm. But again, this music totally slams from start to finish. I am proud of this album all over again.

Ko is a great guitarist, and he owns more Ibanez guitars than even Ibanez ever had! When he said he’d play bass on this, I was like “Yeah sure” and I wasn’t surprised that was equally adapt on bass. He even added some fretless on one tune, which was cool. CJ played great too, hell of a drummer! As for me…you can hear my anger and revenge seeping through the guitar.

The title track wound up on a compilation cd in 2009 called SHREDDING ACROSS THE WORLD and it stood out among the others (my opinion of course). This line-up lasted for about a year or so and then it just ended. No drama, no nonsense, it just stopped.

Now that all nine albums are on my Bandcamp, I can breathe a huge sigh of relief.

What a ride though.

*UPDATE: Mike and I now have seven demos recorded, one more to go. Had rehearsal this past Wednesday and as usual, it was pretty great! When we walk out of the studio more excited than when we showed up, that’s a very good sign!

Well I somehow found the files for my dark horse third album JUPITER RETURN, and remastered it. Hence the title JUPITER RETURN…AGAIN!

The memories came flooding back, not all were good but will not make this blog a downer. I will focus on the good points.

This is definitely one of my most “experimental” albums. It was misunderstood for a lot of reasons, one being the sound of the album flat-out sucks. I blame myself for that. Again, moving forward…

I sat on my laptop and played with various EQ settings, reverbs, whatever it took to make this music sound better than when it first came out twenty years ago (!) Some of the songs still work, others are just HUH? I don’t remember writing some of these riffs?! And my memory is usually very good. Guess today is not that day.

I was definitely channeling the metalcore bands of the day, such as Unearth, Bleeding Through, and Between The Buried And Me. There’s definitely Meshuggah elements (they are SO addicting to listen to!) and of course the usual Living Colour vibes. Was also trying my hand at The Police and some psychedelic Pink Floydian moments. Not all of it worked but you gotta give me the credit for sticking my neck out, at the risk of being decapitated.

Reviews for this were not great. One person said his 4-track demos sounded better than this. I was fuming but…he was right. I rushed things, and that’s why the album sounded so flat. But now it sounds better, a lot brighter. I still say this is my worst album but at the same time, I am proud of what I tried to accomplish. It would take a couple more albums to achieve what I wanted.

You can listen/purchase on my Bandcamp page and soon it will be on various streaming sites. The only song I ever played from this album for many years was “Burn The Sky” and you’ll hear why.

Now that leaves ONE MORE album to be remastered. Where are those damn files?

So here we are, Thanksgiving Eve…what are we thankful for? The obvious answers are family, friends, our pets, and life’s little whims.

My music is one of them 😉

Had rehearsal this morning as shown in the pictures above. Even the dumpster wanted in on the action. And you gotta enjoy a studio with a Ms. Pac-Man/Galaga machine. No we didn’t play any games but Mike and I played loud progressive funky metal for sure! The vibes are flowin’ and it feels great.

Now you might recall that I had a sixth song that we worked on two weeks ago. We skipped a week because Mike was recording a band. Which bought me time to rethink things. I was not happy with the sixth tune, so I asked Mike via email “Do you think I should drop it and re-write something?” To which he responded yes, so there you go.

I kept one part of the song, the 5/8 breakdown but changed it a little so there was more of a groove to it. The other parts are completely new, very reminiscent of Satriani’s early work (without even trying) as well as Steve Vai (well I admit I wanted to touch on that). How it came about though is an interesting story.

And since you didn’t ask…I’m gonna tell you anyway.

A clean intro fell out of my head and into my hands (yes I was holding the guitar at said juncture). Very spacey chordal work, and since I mentioned Satriani, it unintentionally came out like something from NOT OF THIS EARTH, his debut album. Then the song pretty much came alive. Sent the guitar demo to Mike. He said it was a better tune, and so today we jammed on it.

I tell you what, it’s a very straight-up tune but since I can’t write anything normal (you know, 5/8 stuff), I will still say it has a lot of commercial potential. And now to confuse you even further…

I had a title from a song we worked on that suddenly didn’t fit the music. It was the one that came out sounding like Rush-meets-5150 VH, so the title for that song is now the title of this sixth tune. And the original title for the new piece is now the title for the other one. Got all that?

This is how my mind works. Get used to it.

As of today, we have six songs. Possibly might work on a seventh one next week and then Mike is recording with another band the following week. Which leaves us one more rehearsal in December before Xmas Eve/New Years Eve. Can we get eight songs in by then? One never knows.

But wait…now how many songs are going on this damn album?!

Nine.

Eight as a full “band”, and one will be a solo clean guitar piece from something that was part of a long-ish song. Figured with all the metal and funky prog grooves being tossed around, why not end the album with something really chill? Jeff Loomis did it with his album ZERO ORDER PHASE so I will take a leaf out of his book there. The outro will most likely be 1-2 minutes long, tops.

That’s almost like Ramones length!

Now I am going to send this blog off for you all to read. And with that, I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving!!

Already?!

Last night was one for the books. First time playing Thirsty Farmer in Sussex, NJ with Supernova, and to my surprise it was THEIR first time playing there. I thought they played there with their guitarist Frank but what do I know? It’s a nice place, very lively, and the crowd…

Oh Lord that crowd was wild!

When it all comes together, it’s the most magical feeling in the world. I’m talking about when the band sounds “on” and the crowd reacts in kind by dancing, singing along and of course copious amounts of alcohol consumed. From the first note to the last, the place was jumpin’! Moments like that we all want to trap in a bottle and save for a rainy day. We played two long sets instead of three short ones, as the crowd kept egging us on for MORE MORE MORE! Even had to pull songs out that hadn’t been touched in a while.

Glad my memory still works.

But that picture above…do tell, Steve!

I knew that my friend Wendy (DJ Metal Mistress) was coming to the show, and her fiance Bill was with her. Always great to see them! However, I didn’t have members of the metal band Scarlet King on my bingo card. Now I do. I looked out into the audience and saw singer Mike and bassist Kevin, standing there thinking “Bello’s playing Bryan Adams?!” But hey, even the most die-hard metal fans will sing along to these kinds of songs. (I still don’t get the big deal about “Mr. Brightside” though!)

Was nice seeing them and talking shop about music and such. I admit that a part of me thought “Wow these guys must think I’m lame now” but they said I played well and nailed the material down. They asked me about working on new music with drummer Mike Sabatini, and I mentioned that things are going extremely well, better than expected…

One snag though: I was ready to talk about “Hey we worked on a sixth song” but Mike and I both agreed that it didn’t fit with the rest of the music, so I tossed it. That’s okay, as I have plenty of other ideas to lobby at him. The tune was cool but felt more like a chore to play than something fun. And when I think my music is a bit too much, we’re in trouble!

Still, I couldn’t be more pleased with how things are turning out in pre-production. Mike is definitely laying down some grooves and cool fills, and my riffs are even making me stare at my hands in disbelief. There’s no deadline, no release date, nothing. We’re relaxed, focused and when the songs are where they should be, then we will say “Time to record!”

Right now it’s time to nap.

You sang the Bay City Rollers in your head, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU?! 🙂

Yes, it’s Saturday November 8th, and you’d think I’d be gigging, or at least seeing a band. Nope. I don’t have a gig until Friday November 14th with Supernova. And since I will be out until all hours next Friday, the trade-off is that I stay home.

Aren’t I sweet?

So what am I doing while others are most likely galivanting around various towns? I’m working on guitar melodies for the new songs, also coming up with album cover ideas and listening to Loudness’ 1992 album.

I can’t do anything normal.

Let’s start with the guitar stuff. Today was a good day to iron out some ideas, and while I won’t get myself too attached to the melodies, they are coming out nicely. I always start with random notes, jumble them up and see where they land. I also play them dry, no amp or effects. And then when I work on them in the studio, I play with sounds. Maybe wah works best on one, a flanger on another. That’s the beauty of my music: it can go anywhere (or nowhere…yikes!) One thing is certain: the riffs and chord progressions are so strong, that the melodies might be more like soundscapes than actual “singing” type lines. Whatever gets the job done, right?

Album cover ideas…ah I had one, then threw it away. Well not really. I saved it for another day. But while I had a clear vision of a cover, things can change in a nanosecond. I played with visuals, lettering, colors; felt like I was back in art class from my high school days. One exception: I am not being told “Mr. Bello, you can’t do that!” (The arts in general love the words “no” and “you can’t” for some reason…) Right now I have something that could be really cool, definitely 80s-inspired but also in the present. After all, people want familiarity so why not split the difference between what I want and what the public wants?

I still don’t believe in total compromise though!

As for this Loudness album I mentioned…my friend Ko would burn me cds and when time would allow, I would listen to them. He and I are both Loudness fans, and we both vibe to the amazing guitar work of Akira Takasaki! One cd really surprised me years ago, which is their self-titled that came out in 1992. After trying to appease the Western market with more commercial-sounding vocal melodies and even hiring an American singer in Michael Vescera, they took back their dignity and released this SUPER HEAVY album that sounds like Pantera meets hints of early Metallica/Anthrax.

Oh the band is from Japan, if you couldn’t tell.

It’s funny: the whole point of being a musician is to express yourself, whether it’s through heavy metal, jazz, folk, whatever. But when the suits get involved, they try to mold you to what THEY want, which means it’s all about the bottom line. I wanted to be signed like everyone else back in the day. Looking back, it would have been the worst thing for me. I hate being told what to do, can take direction but never dictation. Watching bands like Loudness who were doing their own trip get molded into sounding like Poison or whatever…no dice. Just didn’t work at all. So when Loudness lost their American deal, they replaced the singer and bassist with the vocalist from EZO and bassist from X-Japan. Let me tell you, this 1992 album SMOKES!!!!

Which leads me to my new album: some parts of it will be super-melodic, but overall I think it will be quite heavy. That might turn some people off but whatever. I have to do what’s right. The last cd was heavy but fell flat in a lot of ways. This time, I had two years of depression to deal with, as well as coming up with material that would make my arm hairs stand up over and over. If I listened to a rough demo more than four times, it was a keeper. The rest were shown the door.

I will mention this: one song was re-written about four times since 2023. I loved the song title (and no I won’t say it here), and the chord changes but I was puzzled about something. What is it missing? Or do I need to totally throw the song out and start over? Thankfully, no. I re-wrote the song with the same chords but did one stupid human trick: put it in 5/8 time. And here’s the kicker…shh…no distortion at all. As Roger Glover of Deep Purple once said, “Heavy isn’t about volume, it’s about attitude.” I can write clean stuff that packs a punch too.

Watch me.

This is 56.

Let’s get one thing squared away: I am proud to advance in age. Some people think I’m complaining but that’s the farthest from the truth. If you miss your youth, that’s cool. I don’t miss mine one bit. I’m better now in many ways than way back when.

Last Friday, I sat in with Rubber Duckie Riot at Mason Jar and it was a total blast! Seeing people dressed in various costumes, dancing up a storm, the vibes were right. Even got to play another Metallica song besides “Enter Sandman”!

The next day was a very last-minute gig with Crash, this time at Garnerville Arts Center in New York. Way different vibes, some good, some not to my liking, but the place itself was very cool! This was for a friend’s 50th birthday bash and it was good seeing him again. He was even surprised that I was playing (me too!) Played with different musicians than the last Crash gig back in July and made some new friends on top of that. So all was not lost.

And of course, Sunday was my 56th birthday! It was really relaxing, weather was great, and decompressed after a weekend of pretending to be a guitar god. True to form, I treated myself to a piece of gear that should be arriving at my doorstep today: a Strich wah pedal. A what?! I saw it and had to order because it’s orange!! (“Okay, Bello, back to bed you go!”) Here’s a screenshot of it from Amazon:

One other thing struck me yesterday: Am I still endorsed with Lock-It Straps? I went on their website and…I’m still there? Cool! I’ve not heard from anyone there since they were bought out a few years ago but saw a strap that I had to order. It wasn’t on Amazon but rather on Sweetwater. Check this out:

How could I not own this strap?! For someone who wears black all the time, my gear and accessories are neon and showy. I should be receiving this on Friday.

One serious matter I will bring up: A lot of people have distanced themselves from me over this past year. At first it bothered me, and then realized that I’ve been experiencing various enlightenments and awakenings since the winter time. Ever since June, things started to open up and by August, my soul aligned with the universe. But let’s be fair here: I have chosen to walk away from various people too. No harm, no foul, I wish them well. Just leave me alone. I learned to protect my peace finally. I thought I needed a lot of friends but learned that a lot of people truly never liked me.

They wanted me around though, huh?

Have I found my tribe? Perhaps. I am now aligned with some people who enjoy my presence. I don’t seek validation anymore, and as a result, things seem to be coming to me. The old version of me would people-please, and that’s gone. Am I a good person? Yes. Am I a nice person? I don’t want to be anymore. I now know where I belong, even if it means being in solitude on a bike trail, or sitting here on my laptop in the basement.

I do go out sometimes!

Back to more fun things: I have a gig with Supernova on Friday November 14th at The Thirsty Farmer (Sussex, NJ) so that’s cool! I have to learn some more country tunes as this place caters to that market, fine with me. We can still do harder rock, a tiny bit of metal and some pop. Being a sub for cover bands is perfect for me. No commitments, no drama, just give me the set list, tell me where to plug in, and pay me at the end of the night.

Oh and the 10th album that I’m finally working on with drummer Michael Sabatini. We have four demos, five more to go. I’m not putting a definite time stamp on when we will record and release this. It feels great to just be in the moment, work on heavy riffing and enjoy the feel-good energy that was missing from the last cd. The past is where it belongs; I have harnessed being in the present, and it shows in the music.

And yes, it’s still “fucking weird shit” 🙂