WHO? ME?

Last Saturday I attended Metalfest 10 in Teaneck NJ at Debonair Music Hall. I had a good time, nice to see old friends, meet new ones, hear some pummeling heavy music and enjoy a kick-ass burger. But two questions kept coming up while I was hanging around…

“Doing any new music?”

“Playing Metalfest next year?”

Who…me?

Strange…there hasn’t been interest in anything I have done in a long time. Maybe people miss me. Maybe they are bored. I don’t know. So let me get two things out of the way.

Am I doing any new music? Yes…and no. I have been writing music and recording demos since 2023. It’s a seemingly never-ending process. I like something, then don’t. Then dig it up out of the garbage and like it again. Or sometimes I hit “delete” and off into the ether it goes. Out of possibly 45-50 demos, I have maybe 10-11 that I’m content with. For now.

I was never one to say “I have eight songs” and that’s it. I’m always writing, re-writing, searching for new things. I might learn a new chord and think “I have to use this in a sentence.” Or I try a funky effect and a simple E chord sounds much cooler now. I feed off inspiration. Not one to go through the motions and write what people think I need to write. There’s plenty of bands painting by numbers.

For me personally, music should be about freedom of expression. Whether I write something really heavy or something tender, it’s genuine. Period. When I come across people who think they know my vision, they’re barking up the wrong tree. I can take direction but not dictation. Perhaps the best thing for me to do if/when I do my 10th album is be like Prince and do everything. I already did that with LAYERS OF TIME back in 2015 (ten years already!?) so I can do it again. Tedious, yes. But it’s my vision and will see it through.

As for live gigs, as I’ve often stated, the last time I played my own songs on stage was at Metalfest 7 back on July 9, 2022. That will go down as one of my top five personal best shows ever. Once I walked off stage that day, I told myself “You can stop trying now.” Three years later, people still talk about that performance. Why? Because it was different, unique, and challenging. Which is the curse and the blessing.

My fear is if I play Metalfest 11 next year, will it be as good as the show I did in 2022? If I bomb, then I have to live with that and try to over-correct it with another gig. I raised the bar so high that day, that even I might have a hard time jumping over it. Is it worth the risk? Ronnie James Dio said years ago that playing live means putting your ass on the line. I am more relaxed, no need to impress anyone anymore.

But having people ask me about new music and playing a gig…interesting to my jaded outdated ears. Do people really want stuff from me? Or are they just blowing smoke up my ass?

I welcome your thoughts.