GLAD IT’S NOT A LEAP YEAR

I am so glad that today is the last day of February. If this was a leap year, I would lose my mind.

Oh I lost it back in the 80s if you can find it.

This winter has been the coldest that I can recall. We had more snowfall than the past two years combined but not a lot just the same. Are we done with snow? I sure hope so. This week is a teaser though: bright blue skies, bright sun, Spring-like weather.

And then it will all go downhill again for a bit longer.

Though I am busy with teaching, and it’s going well, I’m missing something. My keys? My inhaler? No wait…

I miss performing.

Won’t lie to anyone, was hoping for more cover gigs to sprout up but everyone needs drummers, singers, and bassists. Guitarists are a dime a dozen (but I’m worth at least a buck three-eighty) so I hang back. I really have zero desire to play my own songs live, as the interest isn’t there. Just have to accept that my days are behind me, and that’s alright. I knew when to walk away and not become a caricature or shell of my former self.

Others do that quite well.

So why was I buying new pedals, straps, and re-ordering more strings? Maybe I’m bored. Or I hope the inspiration comes back. Who knows? Can’t force these things to happen. But seven planets are lining up tonight so that could be good, right? Maybe when the clocks go ahead an hour, things will perk back up. Got me there.

I feel stuck, truth be told.

Don’t get me wrong, my seasonal depression is slowly lifting. I re-upped my vitamin stash, cutting back on junk food (though I have a sweet tooth), and getting my walks in with the nicer weather. I enjoy playing guitar more than ever because I have nobody to impress. I am learning new jazz licks, and even some country, just to keep my fingers from falling into atrophy.

And I’m still the best guitarist in my house. Undefeated.

So come March 1st, what will happen? No idea. I have learned to take a gigantic step back, let the fates decide what’s next. Some things I can control, others are beyond my reach. If I manifest and put things out to the universe, perhaps I will have some good fortunes swing my way.

Am I too deep for this table over here?