I SHOULD BE…

I should be at NAMM this weekend. I should be walking around, visiting booths and pretending to be a guitar god for a few days.

I should be working on new music but then realize people only want familiarity.

I should be a step ahead of seasonal depression but it’s kicking my ass.

I should be casting negative thoughts out of my head but when you’re surrounded by negativity and passive-aggressiveness, it’s not easy.

But I’m glad to not be at NAMM this weekend. I’m happy teaching, staying close to home, and being greeted by the power trio of cats you see above. I always said if you want to be in a room full of narcissistic, self-serving, insecure people, go to a NAMM show. It’s mind-blowing.

And I had been writing music but not in any shape to do anything past the demo stage. Being creative is vital; being subject to ridicule isn’t. People definitely want the tried-and-true, and after years of hearing “Why can’t you write a song like…?” or worse, it was time for me to walk away.

Seasonal depression found me again but I’m doing my best to stay focused. We’ve not had much snow but it’s been brutally cold, painfully so. I pine for the days of warmer weather and lesser clothing. T-shirt/shorts/sneakers for me. (I do know people who get this in the summer though!)

And when you are constantly being barraged with negativity, after a while, you can tune it out. It’s not easy but once you get past that hump, it’s good. The more I “grey rock” people, the happier I will be. I have 55 years to unpack and then maybe the same amount of time to feel better about myself.

Can I live to over 100? Perhaps.

I will still challenge what’s “normal” though 😉