TEN YEARS GONE…

Take a good look at that screen shot. This is what it meant for me to be a musician. Living in the moment, playing awesome funky metal songs with two legends. One sadly left us this past March.

I had it good and knew it then.

Drummer TC Tolliver (hard to see in this pic) sent me a link the other night. We both thought there was no footage from the Germany tour back in September 2014. Bassist/vocalist TM Stevens (RIP), TC and myself did a short tour sponsored by Warwick (which is why I was playing Framus gear; and yes the guys at Ibanez and Orange were informed and cool about it). Strangely, TM didn’t want anything recorded?! Who knew at the time that his onset dementia was taking hold? Nobody did. Looking back, it all makes sense now.

Anyway, when I opened the link for the video, a shit-eating grin came across my face, which is rare. TM had played with many guitarists in his lifetime, most notably Steve Vai, Nuno Bettencourt, John McLaughlin, Stanley Jordan. And whether some of you like it or not, I am part of his musical legacy. I personally don’t have any legacy, but there I am, for all of the world to see now. Proof that the guitarist everyone called “delusional” got to live out his teenage fantasies of being a guitar god.

Even if it was only a week long.

We were a Sherman tank, that’s for sure. I will never forget the phone call on that hot July day: “Stevie, it’s TM! I need a guitarist for a Germany tour in September. You in?” Uh, yep. And after I hung up the phone, I changed my underwear 16 times. I’M FINALLY DOING A TOUR AT 44 YEARS OLD?! I was told not to say anything until TM and TC did first, which I respected. As soon as TC wrote on his Facebook page “We’re going to Germany”, my heart raced and sank at the same time.

This was real.

But watching this footage (which is on the VIDEOS page) also made me realize that no matter what I did after this, this was going to be really hard to top. Yes, I played great shows with various line-ups of my band over the years, ranging from opening slots with Lita Ford, Joe Lynn Turner, King’s X (!!), Blaze Bayley. In my mind, I compared every gig to those shows overseas. I was torturing myself. I should have stopped trying after that tour. It’s never going to be better than that. I made peace with it.

There was talk of another tour, this time with more countries in Europe. Jagermeister was going to sponsor it, we were to get our own bus, you name it. But sadly it never came to be. And while I never once saw this as a career move, I did think “Well, now people will take me more seriously.”

Nope.

Truth be told, very very few people believed in me. I was always met with “You’re stupid if you think you can make it” and “You’re so delusional”. Did I truly make it? Not entirely. But I accomplished more than people will ever give me the credit for. Am I delusional? I had lofty goals and giant dreams, and some of them came true. It’s not like I am running around saying “Yeah, at any second, Judas Priest is going to ask me to open!”

My path as a pseudo-guitar god led me to being a guitar/music teacher. I couldn’t be more content. The students love me, want to learn, ask me great questions, and it’s win/win for everyone. I am still creative, still passionate, but more realistic about things. I’m not what people want to see or hear on stage. I don’t fit in anyone’s perceived mold. If anything, I challenge those who see me. Even when I help cover bands out, I’m not the typical guitarist who does the “dad pose” (you know what I am talking about). Often times I hear “Wow, you’re, uh…interesting.” Which means, “I was hoping to see someone I can identify with.”

TM chose me because I’m, uh, interesting. He was definitely a fireball, a huge presence, a gigantic personality with a LARGE bass tone…holy moly! I learned a lot from him (and learned how NOT to be as well). I still hear his advice in my brain: “People pay to see the whites of your eyes, not the top of your head. GIVE THEM A MOTHERF—-N’ SHOW!”

I did my best, sir.